4/3 homework

2020-04-03 · 첨삭 강사 Rachel

학생이 쓴 원문

I don\'t think so. I have best friends in my university period. We met every day and had a lot of time together. But, we had a different hobby and personality was also absolutely different. We were in the same major, chemical engineering, but that\'s the only thing we did the same. However, I think friends make me find a balance. They help me having wide eyes and look around different aspects of the society. And I can find a new hobby or interest in my mind. We can learn from friends. Sometimes we make friends having same hobby, in a club or social meeting. The relationship is able to fall into the hobby more and give me deep experiences. The point is that a hobby or taste is not the most influential factor when we are a friend. The most important thing is whether the friend has a positive influence on me. So, when we meet the friend, we have to perceive if I feel good or bad. In my case, I don\'t like to make a relationship with a negative person, even if she/he has the same hobby.

강사 첨삭

Wow! That was quick! You are one diligent person, and that is great! This is a good essay. I agree with your idea. Even if we share the same hobby but his/her influence on me is not good, I will not be friends with that person. 
-Rachel 
I don\'t think so. I have best friends in my university period.
>> correct
We met every day and had a lot of time together.
>> We met everyday and spent a lot of time together.
But, we had a different hobby and personality was also absolutely different.
>> correct
We were in the same major, chemical engineering, but that\'s the only thing we did the same.
>> We had the same major, chemical engineering, but that\'s the only thing we had in common. 
However, I think friends make me find a balance.
>> correct
They help me having wide eyes and look around different aspects of the society.
>> They enlighten me/open my eyes and give me a different perspective of the society.
And I can find a new hobby or interest in my mind.
>> Because of that, I can find a new hobby or interest. 
We can learn from friends.
>> correct 
Sometimes we make friends having same hobby, in a club or social meeting.
>> correct (add the before same- the same)
The relationship is able to fall into the hobby more and give me deep experiences.
>> The relationship makes me fall into the hobby more and gives me deep experiences.
The point is that a hobby or taste is not the most influential factor when we make friends.
>> correct (when we make friends- replace are with  make)
The most important thing is whether the friend has a positive influence on me.
>> correct
So, when we meet the friend, we have to perceive if I feel good or bad. In my case, I don\'t like to make a relationship with a negative person, even if she/he has the same hobby.
>> correct

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