#4

2016-08-31 · 첨삭 강사 Lisa

학생이 쓴 원문

Would you like to be a fashion model? - No, I want to be a announcer What are their lives like? - I don't know.... How does fashion affect people's lives? - Fashion is original, to protect the body But But now it is used as a means to express themselves.

강사 첨삭

Hello there pretty [이름]!  You have a very good point of view with fashion. I agree that it is now used like an art or to express oneself. That is amazing point of view. Very good! I would like to see you as a reporter someday. Hmm.. Thank you for giving extra effort in doing your assignment. I appreciate it! Hmm.. I\'ll see you in our class! And keep practicing! 


Would you like to be a fashion model?

 - No, I want to be a announcer.

>>> YOU CAN SAY: No I want to be an announcer ( or a reporter).

 

What are their lives like?
- I don\'t know....

>>> CORRECT.

OR: I am not really sure what life they have.


How does fashion affect people\'s lives?
- Fashion is original, to protect the body

>>> YOU CAN SAY:  Fashion is original. And it is first and foremost, to protect the body.  


But But now it is used as a means to express themselves.

>>> YOU CAN SAY: But today, it a means to express oneself.

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