41. Homework

2018-01-09 · 첨삭 강사 Rose

학생이 쓴 원문

Q. Which do you feel is more important in your life: Security or freedom and independence? I don’t know the connection among these three examples. Thus, I just thought about it easily and I choose that freedom is the most important things I like to live freely. And then as you know, that’s why I had quieted from a previous job before I have been to the Philippines for studying English. While I was in Baguio and Cebu City, I most of the times worn cool pants which looks simple and comfortable. And some of students liked to wear freely as me, therefore Jack and few students whom is Taiwanese, who I have met in Cebu, asked me how to buy those and I went to night market with them buying the things with special patterns. Moreover, I choose this company that I work now because I want to enjoy an isolated life between work and freedom. Hence, after finishing work, I go to swim, study getting a license of firefighting equipment especially electrical engineering, or watch discussion programs owing to the fact that it is my dilettante life. Additionally, I don’t want to get married due to the freedom. If I get married with a girl and having babies, I have to live for them since I get a lot of responsibilities to take care of them. But, sadly, I don’t need to think regarding of marriage because of the fact that I don’t have even a girlfriend.

강사 첨삭

Good morning, Jason^^

Thank you very much for doing your homework, and I hope, someday, you will meet someone who will change your mindset, ha! ha!

I don’t know the connection among these three examples.

>>CORRECT!
Thus, I just thought about it easily and I choose that freedom is the most important things I like to live freely.

>>  Thus, I just thought about it easily and I choose that freedom is the most important thing I like to live freely.

And then as you know, that’s why I had quieted from a previous job before I have been to the Philippines for studying English.

>>And then as you know, I had quit my previous job before going to the Philippines to study English.

 While I was in Baguio and Cebu City, I most of the times worn cool pants which looks simple and comfortable.

>> While I was in Baguio and Cebu City, most of the time I wore cool pants which looked simple and comfortable.

 And some of students liked to wear freely as me, therefore Jack and few students whom is Taiwanese, who I have met in Cebu, asked me how to buy those and I went to night market with them buying the things with special patterns.

>>And some of students like to wear freely as me, therefore, Jack and a few Taiwanese students whom I have met in Cebu, asked me how to buy those and I went to night market with them buying the things with special patterns.

 Moreover, I choose this company that I work now because I want to enjoy an isolated life between work and freedom.

>> Moreover, I choose this company that I work for now because I want to enjoy an isolated life between work and freedom.

 Hence, after finishing work, I go to swim, study getting a license of firefighting equipment especially electrical engineering, or watch discussion programs owing to the fact that it is my dilettante life.

>> Hence, after finishing work, I swim, study to get a license of firefighting equipment especially electrical engineering, or watch discussion programs owing to the fact that it is my dilettante life.
 Additionally, I don’t want to get married due to the freedom.

>>CORRECT!

If I get married with a girl and having babies, I have to live for them since I get a lot of responsibilities to take care of them.

>>If I get married to a woman and have babies, I have to live for them since I get a lot of responsibilities to take care of them.

But, sadly, I don’t need to think regarding of marriage because of the fact that I don’t have even a girlfriend.

>> But, sadly, I don’t need to think about marriage because of the fact that I don’t even have a girlfriend.

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