42. Homework

2018-01-10 · 첨삭 강사 Rose

학생이 쓴 원문

Q. Should people pay more attention to the opinions of people who are older and more experienced? I partly agree with this opinion. For the good points, most of the old people had gotten variety experiences such as how to handle and deal with a person who has different point of their views. And to get broad knowledge from the old people has more possibility than I meet a person who has younger than me because they have a lot of know how. On the other hand, I have seen many people who are older than me and others were not wisdom and experienced regardless of the age. Furthermore, they are selfish, easily getting angry, and shout to the others when they don’t know how to get the things that they want. Thus, they don’t have any close friends nearby them since they make others be avoiding. Give an example based on my experience, when I worked for a previous company, I met a person whom is Mr.Nam Jeong Eun who had an experience that worked for a big company called POSCO as an executive position. And I saw the company which has been ruined since many employees have been quite from the company owing to him. Hence, my companions gave him a nickname ‘Kim Jeong Eun lives in North Korea and Nam Jeong Eun lives in South Korea. Both of them have been destroying each area’. Moreover, as you know AJ and Melanie, they are younger than me that I guess but they have broad experiences to teach others well. In a conclusion, I just want to say that we should better pay attention to the opinions of the people regardless of their age

강사 첨삭

I strongly believe that age is not a parameter to test someone\'s wisdom.

I have met young people who are wise, but I have met old people who are childish.

Good job, Jason!

Thank you and see you tomorrow!

Q. Should people pay more attention to the opinions of people who are older and more experienced?
>>CORRECT!
I partly agree with this opinion.
>>CORRECT!
For the good points, most of the old people had gotten variety experiences such as how to handle and deal with a person who has different point of their views.

>>For the good points, most of the old people had gotten various experiences such as how to handle and deal with a person who has different point of views.

 And to get broad knowledge from the old people has more possibility than I meet a person who has younger than me because they have a lot of know how.
>>
 And it is more possible to get broad knowledge from old people than meeting a person younger than me because they have a lot of know how.
On the other hand, I have seen many people who are older than me and others were not wisdom and experienced regardless of the age.

>>On the other hand, I have seen many people who are older than me and others were not wise and experienced regardless of the age.

Furthermore, they are selfish, easily getting angry, and shout to the others when they don’t know how to get the things that they want.

>>Furthermore, they are selfish, easily get angry, and shout at others when they don’t know how to get the things that they want.
Thus, they don’t have any close friends nearby them since they make others be avoiding.

>>Thus, they don’t have any close friends nearby them since they make avoid them.

Give an example based on my experience, when I worked for a previous company, I met a person whom is Mr.Nam Jeong Eun who had an experience that worked for a big company called POSCO as an executive position.

>>As an example based on my experience, when I worked for my previous company, I met a person who is Mr.Nam Jeong Eun who had an experience working for a big company called POSCO as an executive.

And I saw the company which has been ruined since many employees have been quite from the company owing to him.

>>And I saw the company which has been ruined since many employees quit from the company owing to him.

Hence, my companions gave him a nickname ‘Kim Jeong Eun lives in North Korea and Nam Jeong Eun lives in South Korea. Both of them have been destroying each area’.
>>
CORRECT!
Moreover, as you know AJ and Melanie, they are younger than me that I guess but they have broad experiences to teach others well.
>>
Moreover, as you know AJ and Melanie, they are younger than me, as I guess but they have broad experiences to teach others well.
In a conclusion, I just want to say that we should better pay attention to the opinions of the people regardless of their age

>>In conclusion, I just want to say that we should better pay attention to the opinions of the people regardless of their age.


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