5-17th Homework
학생이 쓴 원문
Telecommunications have been developed to make a human's life more conveniently.
At first, humans used a torch light to send some information to others in dark.
After this, to deliver safely and speedy more information, they used a horse.
There are many things to deliver the information away.
Nowadays, humans developed a smart phone that is an innovative tool in human history.
It can help human communicate with others and it can help human a lot of information search on hand.
We don't need to go to a post office to send a mail and we don't need to go to a store to buy something in person.
We can do it with the smart phone everywhere, even children.
So, we don't need to say something to buy it with clerks.
So, we don't need to say something in order to make a decision in face-to-face.
We just send an e-mail, and wait the answer that would be received through e--mail.
It's very convenient but it's also strange.
If you get on the subway, all would gaze their smart phone.
강사 첨삭
Hello, [이름]! :)
Thank you for taking the time to write this essay.
Telecommunication has indeed improved massively over time.
It gave us very good results but I think it has also hindered us from communicating face-to-face.
Anyhow, that\'s just my opinion about this matter.
I hope you\'re doing great.
See you next week.
~Teacher C[이름]
Telecommunications have been developed to make a human\'s life more conveniently.
>> Telecommunications have been developed to make a human\'s life more convenient.
At first, humans used a torch light to send some information to others in dark.
>> At first, humans used a torch light to send some information to others in the dark.
After this, to deliver safely and speedy more information, they used a horse.
>> After this, to deliver an information faster and safer, they used a horse.
There are many things to deliver the information away.
>> There are many ways to deliver information.
Nowadays, humans developed a smart phone that is an innovative tool in human history.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> Nowadays, humans developed a smart phone which is an innovative tool in human history.
It can help human communicate with others and it can help human a lot of information search on hand.
>> It can help humans communicate with others and it can help humans easily search for information.
We don\'t need to go to a post office to send a mail and we don\'t need to go to a store to buy something in person.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> We don\'t have to go to a post office to send a mail and we don\'t have to go to a store to buy something in person.
We can do it with the smart phone everywhere, even children.
>> We can do it everywhere with the smart phone and even children can do it.
So, we don\'t need to say something to buy it with clerks.
>> So, we don\'t need to say something to the clerks when we want to buy something.
So, we don\'t need to say something in order to make a decision in face-to-face.
>> So, we don\'t need to say something in order to make a decision face-to-face.
We just send an e-mail, and wait the answer that would be received through e--mail.
>> We just send an e-mail and wait for the answer that would be received through e-mail as well.
It\'s very convenient but it\'s also strange.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> It\'s quite convenient but it\'s also strange.
If you get on the subway, all would gaze their smart phone.
>> If you get on the subway, all would focus on their smart phones.
Thank you for taking the time to write this essay.
Telecommunication has indeed improved massively over time.
It gave us very good results but I think it has also hindered us from communicating face-to-face.
Anyhow, that\'s just my opinion about this matter.
I hope you\'re doing great.
See you next week.
~Teacher C[이름]
Telecommunications have been developed to make a human\'s life more conveniently.
>> Telecommunications have been developed to make a human\'s life more convenient.
At first, humans used a torch light to send some information to others in dark.
>> At first, humans used a torch light to send some information to others in the dark.
After this, to deliver safely and speedy more information, they used a horse.
>> After this, to deliver an information faster and safer, they used a horse.
There are many things to deliver the information away.
>> There are many ways to deliver information.
Nowadays, humans developed a smart phone that is an innovative tool in human history.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> Nowadays, humans developed a smart phone which is an innovative tool in human history.
It can help human communicate with others and it can help human a lot of information search on hand.
>> It can help humans communicate with others and it can help humans easily search for information.
We don\'t need to go to a post office to send a mail and we don\'t need to go to a store to buy something in person.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> We don\'t have to go to a post office to send a mail and we don\'t have to go to a store to buy something in person.
We can do it with the smart phone everywhere, even children.
>> We can do it everywhere with the smart phone and even children can do it.
So, we don\'t need to say something to buy it with clerks.
>> So, we don\'t need to say something to the clerks when we want to buy something.
So, we don\'t need to say something in order to make a decision in face-to-face.
>> So, we don\'t need to say something in order to make a decision face-to-face.
We just send an e-mail, and wait the answer that would be received through e--mail.
>> We just send an e-mail and wait for the answer that would be received through e-mail as well.
It\'s very convenient but it\'s also strange.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> It\'s quite convenient but it\'s also strange.
If you get on the subway, all would gaze their smart phone.
>> If you get on the subway, all would focus on their smart phones.
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