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2020-05-27 · 첨삭 강사 Gabby

학생이 쓴 원문

What are the disadvantages of social media to college students? Social media is a way of communicating online. Social media has many harmful affects. For instance, it can cause disconnection in relationships in real life and focus on relationships that lacks emotional connection. It is shown especiall in young people, who are attracted to communicating in social media. Another disadvantage of using social media is that it can cause cyberbullying and harrassment. Bullying in social media can be more vicious than bullying physically. Many people are hurt from other\'s writings. From a moment, getting mental illness from social media isn\'t something particular. Thus using social media has disadvantages that can especially influence college students.

강사 첨삭

Hi, [이름]. This is an impressive article. Awesome work! :)
- T. Gabby
What are the disadvantages of social media to college students?
>> Correct
Social media is a way of communicating online. 
>> Correct.
Social media has many harmful affects. 
>> Correct.
For instance, it can cause disconnection in relationships in real life and focus on relationships that lacks emotional connection. 
>> For instance, it can cause disconnection in relationships and focus on interactions that lacks emotional connection. 
It is shown especiall in young people, who are attracted to communicating in social media. 
>> It is shown especially in young people who are into communicating thru social media.
Another disadvantage of using social media is that it can cause cyberbullying and harrassment. 
>> Another disadvantage of using social media is that it can cause cyber bullying and harassment
Bullying in social media can be more vicious than bullying physically. 
>> Correct.
Many people are hurt from other\'s writings. 
>> Correct.
From a moment, getting mental illness from social media isn\'t something particular. 
>> Correct.
Thus using social media has disadvantages that can especially influence college students.
>> Correct.

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