5-29th Homework
학생이 쓴 원문
Whenever I wake up in the morning, I do a web surfing like a habit.
If I don't do that, I might feel awkward.
It's like a slave of the smart phone.
When I didn't use it, I did't feel the need of it.
Of course, at that time, I didn't know about it and it was not invented yet.
Many people use the smart phone to search a lot of information when they want to know about something.
And they often use it even if there is no information that they want to know.
Moreover, in the meeting someone watch it ever.
Although I want not to become a slave of it, there is no break to stop me.
In the case of kids, parents could stop them to use it.
But in the case of grown-ups, if they don't endure using the smart phone, nobody could stop using it.
Many years ago, the computer game was played by some kids.
Recently, many adults play the game on the smart phone, too.
If they play it, they preoccupy it forgetting the meal.
In my case, if I do it for a long time, I couldn't do that since I become fatigued.
강사 첨삭
Hello, [이름]!
Thank you very much for writing an essay for today.
I think the computer and smart phone are useful but they also have disadvantages.
These technological equipment can aid us in studying but it can also get us addicted to it.
Anyhow, for as long as we stay disciplined I think there won\'t be a problem about it.
I hope parents would be more assertive when letting their kids to use computers and smartphones.
That\'s it for today. ^_^
I hope you\'re doing great.
See you tomorrow.
~Teacher C[이름]
Whenever I wake up in the morning, I do a web surfing like a habit.>> Whenever I wake up in the morning, I do web surfing like a habit.
If I don\'t do that, I might feel awkward.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> I might feel awkward if I don\'t do that.
It\'s like a slave of the smart phone.
It\'s like a slave of the smart phone.
>> It\'s like being a slave of the smart phone.
When I didn\'t use it, I did\'t feel the need of it.
When I didn\'t use it, I did\'t feel the need of it.
>> When I don\'t use it, I don\'t feel the need of it.
Of course, at that time, I didn\'t know about it and it was not invented yet.
Of course, at that time, I didn\'t know about it and it was not invented yet.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> Of course, at that time it was not invented yet.
Many people use the smart phone to search a lot of information when they want to know about something.
Many people use the smart phone to search a lot of information when they want to know about something.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> A lot of people use the smart phone to search for a lot of information when they want to know about something.
And they often use it even if there is no information that they want to know.
And they often use it even if there is no information that they want to know.
>> In addition, they often use it even if there is no information that they want to know.
Moreover, in the meeting someone watch it ever.
Moreover, in the meeting someone watch it ever.
>> [Do you mean]: Moreover, when we are in a meeting with someone, we give it more priority over that person.
Although I want not to become a slave of it, there is no break to stop me.
Although I want not to become a slave of it, there is no break to stop me.
>> Although I do not want to become a slave of it, nothing can stop me from using it.
In the case of kids, parents could stop them to use it.
In the case of kids, parents could stop them to use it.
>> In the case of kids, parents could stop them from using it.
But in the case of grown-ups, if they don\'t endure using the smart phone, nobody could stop using it.
But in the case of grown-ups, if they don\'t endure using the smart phone, nobody could stop using it.
>> [Do you mean]: But in the case of grown-ups, if they don\'t discipline themselves, nobody could stop them from using it.
Many years ago, the computer game was played by some kids.
Many years ago, the computer game was played by some kids.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> A long time ago, some kids played computer games.
Recently, many adults play the game on the smart phone, too.
Recently, many adults play the game on the smart phone, too.
>> Recently, many adults play the game on the smart phone too.
If they play it, they preoccupy it forgetting the meal.
If they play it, they preoccupy it forgetting the meal.
>> If they play it, they get preoccupied and forget to eat their meal.
In my case, if I do it for a long time, I couldn\'t do that since I become fatigued.
In my case, if I do it for a long time, I couldn\'t do that since I become fatigued.
>> In my case, if I do it for a long time, I become/get fatigued.
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