5-32th Homework

2017-12-04 · 첨삭 강사 Charry

학생이 쓴 원문

Have you ever thought about getting old? Have you ever saw the face of your friends who are getting old near by? What do you feel when you see someone whom you could not meet for a long time? I was frightened when I saw his head without hairs. I was frightened when I saw his or her face that had a lot of twinkle. As I see them, I feel the speed of time and I feel that I am getting old as time with. Whenever my friends pass away, I feel strange and I could not explain it. When I went to school, I never thought about the death and I didn't get the chance to think about it. Whenever I hear the death of someone, it reminds me to get think about the death. Sometimes, I emotionally feel it. Sometimes, I logically feel it. Anyway, Nobody lives forever. All of us finally die and there is nothing after dying. Even if he or she leave his or her name in the world, it is also useless to him or her. The newborns have to change the position of old things, it is natural.

강사 첨삭

Hi, [이름]!
Thank you for writing about this topic. 
Death is a topic that many people avoid talking about. 
I guess it\'s because they are afraid of the unknown. 
Everyone is destined to die. 
It is inevitable. 
Anyhow, I hope you are okay.
See you again tomorrow.
~Teacher C[이름]
Have you ever thought about getting old?
>> CORRECT!
OR >> Have you ever thought about aging?
Have you ever saw the face of your friends who are getting old near by?
>> Have you ever saw the face of your friends near by who are getting old?
What do you feel when you see someone whom you could not meet for a long time?
>> CORRECT!
OR >> What do you feel when you see someone whom you haven\'t seen for a long time?
I was frightened when I saw his head without hairs.
>> I was frightened when I saw his bald head.
I was frightened when I saw his or her face that had a lot of twinkle.
>> I was frightened when I saw his or her face that had a lot of wrinkles.
As I see them, I feel the speed of time and I feel that I am getting old as time with.
>> As I see them, I feel the speed of time and I feel that I am getting old as time goes by.
Whenever my friends pass away, I feel strange and I could not explain it.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> I feel strange whenever my friends pass away and I could not explain it.
When I went to school, I never thought about the death and I didn\'t get the chance to think about it.
>> When I went to school, I never thought about death and I didn\'t get the chance to think about it.
Whenever I hear the death of someone, it reminds me to get think about the death.
>> Whenever I hear the death of someone, it reminds me to think about death.
Sometimes, I emotionally feel it.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> I sometimes feel it emotionally.
Sometimes, I logically feel it.
>> Sometimes, I logically see it.
Anyway, Nobody lives forever.
>> Anyway, nobody lives forever.
All of us finally die and there is nothing after dying.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> All of us finally die and there nothing awaits us after dying.
Even if he or she leave his or her name in the world, it is also useless to him or her.
>> Even if he or she leaves his or her mark in the world, it is also useless for him or her.
The newborns have to change the position of old things, it is natural.
>> The newborns have to change the position of old things and it is natural.

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기

영어첨삭교정 ·