5/4 homework
학생이 쓴 원문
In my opinion, woman is commonly interests in fashion.
In addition, several woman release mental stress through fashion shopping.
When i was gain mental stress, i visit shopping mall and buy some clothes.
강사 첨삭
Good day, [이름] [이름]!
Every woman wants and deserves to look nice and dress well. Not only because it would present her in a good light in a social setting, but also because it is fulfilling, mood-boosting and imperative for self-esteem. It is important because it helps define human identity. It creates a sense of belonging to a certain group, either by what we wear or how we use fashion as an expression of our personality. Fashion also has the power to create social change and inspire other people in society.
- Kristine ^^
In my opinion, woman is commonly interests in fashion.
>> In my opinion, women have a strong interest in fashion.
In addition, several woman release mental stress through fashion shopping.
In addition, several woman release mental stress through fashion shopping.
>> Furthermore, many women use fashion to relieve mental stress.
When i was gain mental stress, i visit shopping mall and buy some clothes.
When i was gain mental stress, i visit shopping mall and buy some clothes.
>> When I\'m stressed, I go to the mall and buy some new clothes.
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