5-4th Homework
학생이 쓴 원문
I think Bob defines the success as doing something that one wants to do.
I partially agree with him.
Nobody hate the money, if we have the money, we would be convenient to live.
So, many people want to live without any problem so that they get more money as much as possible.
And we can see the success man and woman through a TV or a newspaper.
We might want to become like a man or a woman.
When we heard about their success story, we have a respectful emotion about them.
They always experienced a big trouble and they didn't give up.
Sometimes they said about their success on a TV show.
We generally decide the success as amount of money that someone has.
When we do something that we want to do, we feel the good emotion.
So, someone thinks it as the success but one don't have enough money.
The enough money is very important to do something we want to do.
If we have the enough money, we could do it without the anxiety.
As a result, we feel more happy when we do something.
강사 첨삭
Hello, [이름]! :)
Thank you for taking the time to write an essay.
I agree that money is necessary in our daily life.
However, some people put too much priority to it and I think it\'s not good.
For me, success is being able to maximize your talents.
Anyhow, that\'s just my opinion.
I hope you\'re doing great.
See you tomorrow.
~Teacher C[이름] :)
I think Bob defines the success as doing something that one wants to do.
>> I think Bob defines success as doing something that one wants to do.
I partially agree with him.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> I somewhat agree with him.
Nobody hate the money, if we have the money, we would be convenient to live.
>> Nobody hates money. If we have money, it would be convenient to live.
So, many people want to live without any problem so that they get more money as much as possible.
>> So, many people want to live without any problem and they want to get more money as much as possible.
And we can see the success man and woman through a TV or a newspaper.
>> We can also see the success of a man or a woman through TV or a newspaper.
We might want to become like a man or a woman.
>> We might want to become like that man or woman.
When we heard about their success story, we have a respectful emotion about them.
>> When we hear about their success story, we have a respectful emotion about them.
They always experienced a big trouble and they didn\'t give up.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> They always encountered a difficult problem and they didn\'t give up.
Sometimes they said about their success on a TV show.
>> Sometimes, they said about their success on a TV show.
We generally decide the success as amount of money that someone has.
>> [Do you mean]: We generally decide if a person is successful basing from the amount of money that someone has.
When we do something that we want to do, we feel the good emotion.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> We feel the good emotion when we do something that we want to do.
So, someone thinks it as the success but one don\'t have enough money.
>> So, someone thinks it as a success even if one doesn\'t have enough money.
The enough money is very important to do something we want to do.
>> Having enough money is very important to do something we want to do.
If we have the enough money, we could do it without the anxiety.
>> If we have enough money, we could do it without the anxiety.
As a result, we feel more happy when we do something.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> As a result, we feel happier when we do something.
Thank you for taking the time to write an essay.
I agree that money is necessary in our daily life.
However, some people put too much priority to it and I think it\'s not good.
For me, success is being able to maximize your talents.
Anyhow, that\'s just my opinion.
I hope you\'re doing great.
See you tomorrow.
~Teacher C[이름] :)
I think Bob defines the success as doing something that one wants to do.
>> I think Bob defines success as doing something that one wants to do.
I partially agree with him.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> I somewhat agree with him.
Nobody hate the money, if we have the money, we would be convenient to live.
>> Nobody hates money. If we have money, it would be convenient to live.
So, many people want to live without any problem so that they get more money as much as possible.
>> So, many people want to live without any problem and they want to get more money as much as possible.
And we can see the success man and woman through a TV or a newspaper.
>> We can also see the success of a man or a woman through TV or a newspaper.
We might want to become like a man or a woman.
>> We might want to become like that man or woman.
When we heard about their success story, we have a respectful emotion about them.
>> When we hear about their success story, we have a respectful emotion about them.
They always experienced a big trouble and they didn\'t give up.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> They always encountered a difficult problem and they didn\'t give up.
Sometimes they said about their success on a TV show.
>> Sometimes, they said about their success on a TV show.
We generally decide the success as amount of money that someone has.
>> [Do you mean]: We generally decide if a person is successful basing from the amount of money that someone has.
When we do something that we want to do, we feel the good emotion.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> We feel the good emotion when we do something that we want to do.
So, someone thinks it as the success but one don\'t have enough money.
>> So, someone thinks it as a success even if one doesn\'t have enough money.
The enough money is very important to do something we want to do.
>> Having enough money is very important to do something we want to do.
If we have the enough money, we could do it without the anxiety.
>> If we have enough money, we could do it without the anxiety.
As a result, we feel more happy when we do something.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> As a result, we feel happier when we do something.
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