6.17

2022-06-20 · 첨삭 강사 Elise

학생이 쓴 원문

What holiday do you think should be removed from your country and why? >I don\'t see any reason of any holiday here that has to be removed. Instead, I need more new holidays to be made, designated as National Holidays. The weekends and the holidays mean a lot to me. I quit working in a private company and decided to study to get a job as civil servant. Even though I earned a lot of money while working in the company, I had no free time after the official work hours on weekdays and even on weekends. I worked like a machine everyday. Sometimes I had to work until 2 am, got back to my house at around 3 am and came back to the office by 8 am. If I hadn\'t been a machine, what other things could have been called a machine? I couldn\'t see any bright future with my future family that I had imagined to have. And now? I\'m content with my job.

강사 첨삭

Hi U [이름]!  

Yes, we need more holidays. People are like robots nowadays. We don\'t have any social life anymore. We need to have more days to lay off. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I\'m so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I don\'t see any reason of any holiday here that has to be removed. 
>>I don\'t see any reason why any holiday should be removed here in our country. 

Instead, I need more new holidays to be made, designated as National Holidays. 
>> Instead, we need more new national holidays. 

The weekends and the holidays mean a lot to me. 
>> The weekends and holidays mean a lot to me. 

I quit working in a private company and decided to study to get a job as civil servant. 
>> CORRECT

Even though I earned a lot of money while working in the company, I had no free time after the official work hours on weekdays and even on weekends. 
>> Even though I earned a lot of money while working in the company, I had no free time after working hours on both weekdays and weekends. 

I worked like a machine everyday. 
>> CORRECT

Sometimes I had to work until 2 am, got back to my house at around 3 am and came back to the office by 8 am. 
>> Sometimes I had to work until 2 am, go back to my house at around 3 am and come back to the office by 8 am. 

If I hadn\'t been a machine, what other things could have been called a machine? 
>> If I was not like a machine, then what is?

I couldn\'t see any bright future with my future family that I had imagined to have. 
>> I couldn\'t see any bright future with family that I imagined to have.

And now? I\'m content with my job.
>> Now, I am contented with my job. 

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