6/3 homework
학생이 쓴 원문
If I was to be born again, I would choose to be Korean again.
Korea is a very small country and has a smaller land and economy than China or Japan.
But I think the developing rate is very speedy than in the two countries.
China is one of influential country and biggest country in the world.
However, wealth and power come from very few Chinese and the government imposes one-man rule.
Japan is also very influential as an advanced country, but there is a lot of risk by a natural disaster such earthquake.
And the economy is concentrated on domestic demand, the nation growth is almost stagnating.
Besides, I don\'t like their individualism and culture excessively noticed by others.
Perhaps these perspectives are very natural since I am [Name] and am familiar with Korean culture.
There are a lot of advantages or limitations in Korea too.
My country is struggling to improve international competitive power.
If I can get one more life in Korea, I hope that Korea would be better country than now.
강사 첨삭
Hi [이름],
If I was to be born again, I would choose to be Korean again.
>> correct
Korea is a very small country and has a smaller land and economy than China or Japan.
Korea is a very small country and has a smaller land and economy than China or Japan.
>> correct
But I think the developing rate is very speedy than in the two countries.
>> But I think the development rate is speedier than the two countries.
China is one of influential country and biggest country in the world.
But I think the developing rate is very speedy than in the two countries.
>> But I think the development rate is speedier than the two countries.
China is one of influential country and biggest country in the world.
>> China is one of the most influential countries and the biggest in the world.
However, wealth and power come from very few Chinese and the government imposes one-man rule.
However, wealth and power come from very few Chinese and the government imposes one-man rule.
>> correct ( we just say, one-child policy instead of one man-rule)
Japan is also very influential as an advanced country, but there is a lot of risk by a natural disaster such earthquake.
Japan is also very influential as an advanced country, but there is a lot of risk by a natural disaster such earthquake.
>> Japan is also a very influential and an advanced country, but there is a lot of risk caused by a natural disasters such earthquake.
And the economy is concentrated on domestic demand, the nation growth is almost stagnating.
And the economy is concentrated on domestic demand, the nation growth is almost stagnating.
>> Moreover, the economy is concentrated on domestic land, so the nation\'s growth is almost stagnant.
Besides, I don\'t like their individualism and culture excessively noticed by others.
Besides, I don\'t like their individualism and culture excessively noticed by others.
>> Besides, I don\'t like their individualism and excessive culture which are noticed by others.
Perhaps these perspectives are very natural since I am [Name] and am familiar with Korean culture.
Perhaps these perspectives are very natural since I am [Name] and am familiar with Korean culture.
>> correct
There are a lot of advantages or limitations in Korea too.
There are a lot of advantages or limitations in Korea too.
>> correct
My country is struggling to improve international competitive power.
My country is struggling to improve international competitive power.
>> My country is struggling to improve international competitive power.
If I can get one more life in Korea, I hope that Korea would be better country than now.
If I can get one more life in Korea, I hope that Korea would be better country than now.
>> If I can have one more life to live in Korea, I hope that it would be a better country than now.
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