62. Homework

2018-02-19 · 첨삭 강사 Rose

학생이 쓴 원문

Q. Do our friends influence the quality of our life? When I was in middle school, most of parents who had a child such as a black sheep in the class blamed a student who was the best friend of their child when they visited to school owing to the problem that had made by their son. They said that their son was not as bad as teacher thought, and the son had influence gotten due to the bad friends. I partly agree more than 70 percent about what they said to the teachers. That’s because some of my friends who were pure persons in an elementary school had their behaviors changed because of their friends. But other 30 percent left, I think that they didn’t choose living right way although they were able to decide it. Based on experiences of my life, many students start smocking in the school owing to the friend who has already do cigarette in the school. That's because they think their friends are looks cool. Furthermore, they start drinking alcohol due to the same reason and they want to being engaged with their close friends. On the other hand, some non-alcohol and non-smoking person just follow their behavior since they are afraid of other group members. That’s because, if they don’t play together, others think that they are betrayed and spoil all those fun. Those atmosphere make the person can't tell the truth to their friends and will be addicted those bad things. Consequently, their life will be failure and ruined because of the wicked act. I was writing the worst case regarding that relationship with friends influence the quality of our life, but it might be happened to someone. I don’t know how to finish this writing but I am able to being realized why elders always said to me to make good friends. Hence, I want to say to youths have to choose a good friend who have been living right way and thinks with positive views, if they want to improve their life with a friend.

강사 첨삭

Thank you very much for writing this homework^^

I was very lucky to have friends who motivated and inspired me to strive harder.

Through their achievements, I was driven to work as hard as I can to attain some achievements, too :)

I am proud to say that my friends are high achievers^^

Q. Do our friends influence the quality of our life?
>>CORRECT!
When I was in middle school, most of parents who had a child such as a black sheep in the class blamed a student who was the best friend of their child when they visited to school owing to the problem that had made by their son.
>>When I was in middle school, most of parents who had a child such as a black sheep in the class blamed a student who was the best friend of their child when they visited to school owing to the problem that had been made by their son.
They said that their son was not as bad as teacher thought, and the son had influence gotten due to the bad friends.
>>They said that their son was not as bad as the teacher thought, and the son was just influenced by the bad friends.
I partly agree more than 70 percent about what they said to the teachers.

>>I partly agree, more than 70 percent, about what they said to the teachers.

 That’s because some of my friends who were pure persons in an elementary school had their behaviors changed because of their friends.

>> That’s because some of my friends who were innocent persons in the elementary school had their behaviors changed because of their friends.

But other 30 percent left, I think that they didn’t choose living right way although they were able to decide it.
>>
But the remaining 30 percent, I don\'t think they didn’t choose living the right way although they were able to decide on it.
Based on experiences of my life, many students start smocking in the school owing to the friend who has already do cigarette in the school.

>>Based on experiences of my life, many students start smocking in the school owing to the friend who has already tried cigarettes in the school.

That\'s because they think their friends are looks cool.

>>That\'s because they think their friends look cool.

 Furthermore, they start drinking alcohol due to the same reason and they want to being engaged with their close friends.
>>
Furthermore, they start drinking alcohol due to the same reason and they want to be engaged with their close friends.
On the other hand, some non-alcohol and non-smoking person just follow their behavior since they are afraid of other group members.

>>On the other hand, some non-alcoholic and non-smoking people just follow their behavior since they are afraid of other group members.

That’s because, if they don’t play together, others think that they are betrayed and spoil all those fun.

>>CORRECT!

Those atmosphere make the person can\'t tell the truth to their friends and will be addicted those bad things.
>>
This atmosphere make the person tell a lie to their friends and will be addicted to those bad things.
Consequently, their life will be failure and ruined because of the wicked act.
>>
Consequently, their life will be a failure and ruined because of the wicked act.
 I was writing the worst case regarding that relationship with friends influence the quality of our life, but it might be happened to someone.
>>
 I was writing the worst case regarding that relationship with friends which influences the quality of our life, because it might happen to someone.
I don’t know how to finish this writing but I am able to being realized why elders always said to me to make good friends.

>>I don’t know how to finish this writing but I am able to realize why elders always told me to make good friends.

Hence, I want to say to youths have to choose a good friend who have been living right way and thinks with positive views, if they want to improve their life with a friend.

>> Hence, I want to tell youth to choose a good friend who has been living the right way and thinks with positive views, if they want to improve their life with a friend.

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