7.10 Homework :)
학생이 쓴 원문
I think whole family needs to discuss important decisions.If an issue is tiny,all family members doesn't always have to discuss it together.On the other hand, if an issue is important,whole family needs to know and discuss it.Of course in some reasons,we sometimes want to conceal important issues and decide by oneself.However,I think family is quite responsible for other member's decision because family is usually the closest people except oneself.Family shares unbreakable connection and sympathetic feelings which make them the 'one'. These are innate biologically and mentally.It does not mean that family can restrict individuals' freedom,but means that family is always ready to take care and support each other.Moreover,even if the decision turns out to be wrong,the problem can be solved easily and immediately with family's help if it is discussed with whole family in advance. Therefore,I think the more decisions are significant,the more we should cautious and discuss them with family.
강사 첨삭
Hi there [이름]^^
Thanks for doing your essay.
I totally agree with you. You shared marvelous ideas in writing.
In making decisions, we should always keep in mind that we can ask our family to give us pieces of advice.
Our family is always there for us no matter what happens.
Let us have a wonderful relationship with them.
If you have any questions, feel free to ask me in class.
Have a wonderful night. Take Care!
Teacher Nina
>> I think the whole family needs to discuss important decisions.
If an issue is tiny,all family members doesn\'t always have to discuss it together.
>> If the issue is small, all family members doesn\'t have to discuss it always together.
On the other hand, if an issue is important,whole family needs to know and discuss it.
>> On the other hand, if an issue is important, the whole family needs to know and discuss it.
Of course in some reasons,we sometimes want to conceal important issues and decide by oneself.
>> Did you mean: Of course in some reasons, we sometimes want to conceal important issues and decide it by ourselves.
However,I think family is quite responsible for other member\'s decision because family is usually the closest people except oneself.
>> Correct
>> OR: However, I think family is also responsible for other member\'s decision because family is the closest people to that person.
Family shares unbreakable connection and sympathetic feelings which make them the \'one\'.
>> Family shares an unbreakable connection and sympathetic feelings which make them as \"one\".
These are innate biologically and mentally.
>> Correct
It does not mean that family can restrict individuals\' freedom,but means that family is always ready to take care and support each other.
>> Correct
>> Better: It does not mean that family can restrict individuals\' freedom, but who will always be ready to take care and support each other.
Moreover,even if the decision turns out to be wrong,the problem can be solved easily and immediately with family\'s help if it is discussed with whole family in advance.
>> Correct
>> OR: Moreover,even if the decision turns out to be wrong,the problem can be solved easily and immediately with family\'s help. If it is discussed with the whole family in advance.
Therefore,I think the more decisions are significant,the more we should cautious and discuss them with family.
>> Therefore, I think the more decisions are significant, the more we should be cautious and discuss it with them, our family.
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