7/22 homework
학생이 쓴 원문
I don\'t want to spend a lot of money on temporary enjoyment such as drinking or shopping.
Temporary enjoyment disappears instantaneously, but long-term money consumption to help others is permanent.
I think it is a real luxury.
If I am rich, I want to establish a foundation for the people who need support.
I have a lot of interests in education for all range of ages.
I think that everyone who wants to learn should be provided with proper education, even if they are elders.
However, I know the foundation of education requires a lot of money.
It is almost impossible for just one rich person.
So, I have to work hard and make good relationships in society.
One of my dreams is to establish a school for elders.
Now, the retirement age is about 62 years in Korea.
However, an average lifetime for humans over 70 years.
I know that enjoyment without any meaning or work is not so fun.
When we feel rewarding and self-confidence, we think life is meaningful and fun.
So, I want to help the elders.
강사 첨삭
Hi [이름],
That was very quick! I guess you truly have a gold heart. Only a few people would aspire to educate everyone including the elderly as it is difficult, but perhaps it is your passion to educate people that\'s why your goal is to teach as much as you can. That is truly admirable!
-Rachel
I don\'t want to spend a lot of money on temporary enjoyment such as drinking or shopping.
>> correct (awesome sentences)
Temporary enjoyment disappears instantaneously, but long-term money consumption to help others is permanent. I think it is a real luxury.
Temporary enjoyment disappears instantaneously, but long-term money consumption to help others is permanent. I think it is a real luxury.
>> correct
>> Temporary pleasures disappear easily, but long-term money investment on helping others last long, and I think this is a real luxury.
If I am rich, I want to establish a foundation for the people who need support.
If I am rich, I want to establish a foundation for the people who need support.
>> correct
>> If I am rich, I want to establish a foundation for needy people.
I have a lot of interests in education for all range of ages.
I have a lot of interests in education for all range of ages.
>> correct
>> I have a lot of interest in the education of all age levels.
I think that everyone who wants to learn should be provided with proper education, even if they are elders.
I think that everyone who wants to learn should be provided with proper education, even if they are elders.
>> correct (another awesome sentence)
However, I know the foundation of education requires a lot of money.
However, I know the foundation of education requires a lot of money.
>> correct
It is almost impossible for just one rich person.
It is almost impossible for just one rich person.
>> correct
So, I have to work hard and make good relationships in society.
So, I have to work hard and make good relationships in society.
>> correct
One of my dreams is to establish a school for elders.
One of my dreams is to establish a school for elders.
>> correct
>> One of my dreams is to put up a school for the elderly.
Now, the retirement age is about 62 years in Korea.
Now, the retirement age is about 62 years in Korea.
>> Now, the retirement age in Korea is 62.
However, an average lifetime for humans over 70 years.
However, an average lifetime for humans over 70 years.
>> However, on average, the lifespan of humans is 70.
I know that enjoyment without any meaning or work is not so fun.
I know that enjoyment without any meaning or work is not so fun.
>> correct
When we feel rewarding and self-confidence, we think life is meaningful and fun.
When we feel rewarding and self-confidence, we think life is meaningful and fun.
>> When we feel rewarded and self-confident, we think life is meaningful and fun.
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