7/27 wiriting task
학생이 쓴 원문
Q: What is your opinion about the rising number of crimes in South Korea?
A:
Crimes get more increase in these days and it happens to unspecified individuals. It means I can also be a target of crime. So I feel scary.
One of the reason why rising number of crimes is people getting crazy.
We are not interested in each other, Some people think big problems if they go behind, Society that indiviualism being maximized. These are make people crazy.
And we need to strengthen the law. I really really want. We have to be a more strict to criminal then we expect reducing the number of crimes.
강사 첨삭
Thank you so much for sharing your opinion with me, Rachel! I can tell you\'re quite passionate about making the punishments more strict, and you have all the right to feel that way because as you mentioned, you could also be a target of crime. Let\'s hope that the government doesn\'t take these situations lightly, and instead, serve the country accordingly by protecting the citizens. Great job with this essay, Rachel. You were able to share a lot of ideas with me.
~T.Harmony <3
>> Crimes are increasing these days, and they happen to unspecified individuals.
OR>> Crimes are increasing these days, and unspecified individuals are being victimized.
It means I can also be a target of crime.
>> CORRECT!
So I feel scary.
>> So I feel scared.
One of the reason why rising number of crimes is people getting crazy.
>> One of the reasons behind the rising number of crimes is that people are becoming crazy.
We are not interested in each other, Some people think big problems if they go behind, Society that indiviualism being maximized.
>> ..., some people think that individualism is being maximized in our society if they hide behind big problems.
These are make people crazy.
>> These make people crazy.
And we need to strengthen the law.
>> CORRECT!
I really really want.
>> CORRECT!
We have to be a more strict to criminal then we expect reducing the number of crimes
>> We have to be more strict to criminals in order for us to reduce the number of crimes.
(Good use of the word \"reduce\"! ^^)
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