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2018-12-27 · 첨삭 강사 Fiona

학생이 쓴 원문

17 years ago, I moved my new house. It was my first house with my husband. We were very happy so I couldn't forget that day. We bought a lot of new things and we were very hard but we helped each other. However I want to move a new house because the recent apartment are very modern.

강사 첨삭

Good afternoon [이름]!

First of all, let me greet you Merry Christmas! I hope you had a wonderful time with your family during the short holiday.

Also thank you for giving your time and effort in doing your writing task, I really appreciate it.

So, here are the corrections I hope it\'ll help you improve your vocabulary especially your sentence patterns. Let\'s enjoy the coming holiday again!

Happy New Year to you and your Family^^

17 years ago, I moved my new house.

>>Seventeen years ago when moved to my new house.

OR>>Seventeen years ago when moved to a new house.
It was my first house with my husband.

>>It is my first house with my husband.

OR>> It is our first house as a couple.
We were very happy so I couldn\'t forget that day.

>> CORRECT!
We bought a lot of new things and we were very hard but we helped each other.

>>We bought a lot of new things and moving was hard, but we helped each other.
However I want to move a new house because the recent apartment are very modern.

>>However, I want to move to a new house because recent apartments are very modern.

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