8.6 Homework :)

2014-08-10 · 첨삭 강사 Nina

학생이 쓴 원문

Since I was little, I've been fond of decorating. I always want to collect cute and pretty things. Especially, I'm fascinated by a tableware store and a stationery store. First, I like shopping at a tableware store which sells goods used in the kitchen: dish, cup, plate, bowl, etc. It is because I want to put foods in beautiful containers. I seriously believe that foods which look wonderful also look more delicious. I'm happy when people like my table-setting. Second, I also enjoy shopping at a stationery store. I'm into fancy things used for studying. Because I feel like studying when I use colorful highlighters, notebooks and memo paper. In addition, one of my hobbies is writing letters, so I'm interested in letter paper, envelopes, and stickers with lovely designs, too. However, in reality, I cannot buy all things I want to. Depending my experience, the more beautiful and elaborate they are, the more expensive. So when I go shopping to stores, I consider not just apearance but also quality and convenience. I try to purchase goods after appraising firsthand and checking details. For example, I look into dishes carefully if there is cracks or scratches. While choosing stationery, I consider the convenience. I usually try gripping a pencil in order to know whether it is good for writing for a long time without tiring my hand.

강사 첨삭

Good evening [이름]!!
Thanks for your essay!
How are you? I hope that you are having a nice weekend.
It is a great composition.
You composed meaningful sentences.
Keep it up!
Just be careful with your sentence patterns. I know you can do it.
Have a merry Sunday.
Talk to you soon! Take Care!
Teacher Nina

Since I was little, I\'ve been fond of decorating. 
>> Correct!
>> OR: Since I was young, I\'ve been fond of decorating.
I always want to collect cute and pretty things. 
>> Correct!
Especially, I\'m fascinated by a tableware store and a stationery store. 
>> Correct!
>> Better: Especially, I\'m fascinated by a tableware and a stationery store. 
First, I like shopping at a tableware store which sells goods used in the kitchen: dish, cup, plate, bowl, etc.
>> Correct!
>> OR: First, I like shopping at a tableware store which sells goods used in the kitchen such as dish, cup, plate, bowl, etc.
It is because I want to put foods in beautiful containers. 
>> Correct!
I seriously believe that foods which look wonderful also look more delicious. 
>> Correct!
>> OR: I seriously believe that foods which look great also look more appetizing. 
I\'m happy when people like my table-setting. 
>> Correct!
Second, I also enjoy shopping at a stationery store. 
>> Correct!
I\'m into fancy things used for studying. 
>> Correct!
Because I feel like studying when I use colorful highlighters, notebooks and memo paper. 
>> Correct!
In addition, one of my hobbies is writing letters, so I\'m interested in letter paper, envelopes, and stickers with lovely designs, too. 
>> Correct!
However, in reality, I cannot buy all things I want to. 
>> However, in reality, I cannot buy all of the things I want. 
Depending my experience, the more beautiful and elaborate they are, the more expensive. 
>> Did you mean: With my experience, the more beautiful and detail they are, the more expensive.
So when I go shopping to stores, I consider not just apearance but also quality and convenience. 
>> So when I go shopping to stores, I just don\'t consider the appearance but also the quality and convenience. 
I try to purchase goods after appraising firsthand and checking details. 
>> I try to purchase goods after appraising firsthand and checking the details.
For example, I look into dishes carefully if there is cracks or scratches. 
>> For example, I look into the dishes carefully if there are cracks or scratches. 
While choosing stationery, I consider the convenience. 
>> Correct!
I usually try gripping a pencil in order to know whether it is good for writing for a long time without tiring my hand.
>> Correct!
>> OR: I usually grip the pencil in order to know whether it is good for writing for a long time without feeling tired.

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