9/15 homework

2022-09-16 · 첨삭 강사 Donna

학생이 쓴 원문

There are so many situations that make me annoyed. When I drive a car, I often meet another driver who don\'t keep the rules. Whenever I encounter the situation, I might shout myself and I feel better. Sometimes I am irritated because someone disturbed me when I highly focus on important tasks. I feel like yelling at him/her but I don\'t do that because this emotional expression makes our relationship bad. So I try to keep calm, think once more and express my idea toning down. It\'s good to enjoy hobbies to be refreshed. In my case, I love to listen to classical music and K-pop whenever I am annoyed. I also enjoy exercise like walking, climbing mountain and yoga. After I do my hobbies, I feel nice and my anger is diminished so I act and decide more wisely.

강사 첨삭

Good day, Dr. [이름]!

Truly, so many instances and sitautions can irritate or annoy us. As you have detailed them below, I can comprehend better how your day goes by. I must say you stay poised, controlled, and sophisticated. You are on the right track in clearing your thoughts and calming your self down. 

Hence, below are a few suggestions I made to some of your sentences. As always, read them carefully. Overall, your homework is yet again an excellent one. Well done!

See you next week!

-T. Donna~
There are so many situations that make me annoyed.
>> Correct!

When I drive a car, I often meet another driver who don\'t keep the rules.
>> When I drive a car, I often meet another driver who doesn\'t keep the rules.

Whenever I encounter the situation, I might shout myself and I feel better.
>> Whenever I encounter this situation, I shout and feel better.

Sometimes I am irritated because someone disturbed me when I highly focus on important tasks.
>> Correct!

I feel like yelling at him/her but I don\'t do that because this emotional expression makes our relationship bad.
>> Correct!

So I try to keep calm, think once more and express my idea toning down.
>> Correct!
Or: So I try to keep calm, think once more, and express my idea in a toned down manner.

It\'s good to enjoy hobbies to be refreshed.
>> Correct!

In my case, I love to listen to classical music and K-pop whenever I am annoyed.
>> Correct!

I also enjoy exercise like walking, climbing mountain and yoga.
>> I also enjoy exercises like walking, climbing the mountain, and yoga.

After I do my hobbies, I feel nice and my anger is diminished so I act and decide more wisely.
>> Correct!

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