9/20 homework

2019-09-20 · 첨삭 강사 Jedah

학생이 쓴 원문

[What advice would you give to a person who wants to commit suicide?] I heard on TV positive advice like \"there are many good things in the world\" or \"live with the courage to die\" is worst to them. They already give up their world and life. Instead, it\'s better to say \"I understand you\" or \"you\'ve been hard\". I think it\'s difficult to feel empathy someone sincerely in this busy world. Moreover, lonely people are increasing more and more. If we have a friend or family who cares for me or talk to each other, we will not suicide at least. But, when we feel I don\'t have anything in this life, we lost the meaning of life. We can think as \"I don\'t want tomorrow, please stop the world now\". I often thought like it when I have a lot of work or the deadline is tomorrow. However, I have my people who understand me and love me, and they give the power to live. So, if I want to say \"I hope to sincerely understand you and I want to be a friend of you\" to a person who wants to suicide.

강사 첨삭

Hi [이름]! Wonderful thoughts you have here! Thank you so much for sharing.
We are living in a society where we care less and less for people. We have adopted junk values because of this competitive, fast paced and modern world. We oftentimes ignore the wonderful things in life and we only focus on the bad side. It would really be nice for people to reach out and talk and not judge others. ^ ^
-Teacher Jedah

I heard on TV positive advice like \"there are many good things in the world\" or \"live with the courage to die\" is worst to them.
>>I often here on TV positive advises like; \"\"there are many good things in the world\" or \"live with the courage to die\".
They already give up their world and life.
>>CORRECT
Instead, it\'s better to say \"I understand you\" or \"you\'ve been hard\".
>>Instead, it\'s better to say \"I understand you\" or \"you\'ve been through a lot\".
I think it\'s difficult to feel empathy someone sincerely in this busy world.
>>I think it\'s difficult to sincerely feel empathy towards someone in this busy world.
Moreover, lonely people are increasing more and more.
>>CORRECT
If we have a friend or family who cares for me or talk to each other, we will not suicide at least.
>>If we have a family or friend who cares to talk, then people may think otherwise when it comes to commiting suicide.
But, when we feel I don\'t have anything in this life, we lost the meaning of life.
>>But, when we feel that we don\'t have anything in this life, we would lose interest about the meaning of life.
We can think as \"I don\'t want tomorrow, please stop the world now\".
>>CORRECT
I often thought like it when I have a lot of work or the deadline is tomorrow.
>>CORRECT
However, I have my people who understand me and love me, and they give the power to live.
>>However, I have my people who understand me and love me, and they give me the strength to live.
So, if I want to say \"I hope to sincerely understand you and I want to be a friend of you\" to a person who wants to suicide.
>>So, I would like to to say \"I hope to sincerely understand you and I want to be your friend\" to a person who wants to commit suicide.

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