90. Homework

2018-04-16 · 첨삭 강사 Rose

학생이 쓴 원문

I have been thinking about it plenty of times and I think it is impossible for a society to be fair to everyone. There are my opinions as below. Most people think that society to be fair to everyone. However, if they have to give up something that they have easily taken for the others who have never taken the same thing, then they will not give it up for the others without any compensation. That’s because they don’t have any reason to sacrifice for others. Thus, kind of member of the National Assembly and high-ranking officials make rules only good for them. Hence, ordinary people will not be able to win rich people when they have problem at court even if they didn't make any event since most regulations are set well for the wealth people. Furthermore, most ordinary people might not be able to hire capable lawyer for solving the problem in the court due to the high costs. Moreover, in my opinion, there are no perfect places to be fair to everyone in the world. Besides, I don't think haven is fair to everyone because there are ranks and positions there too. So, how come it is exist in the real world even there were no fair world in the haven? But, fortunately, many people have realized this kind of unfairness about society. Hence, we want and hope to try to change these systems. So, I wish unfairness will be becoming fairer to the people. Unless, in my opinion, it will not to be perfect even if after hundred years later since we are human who has many ambitions and desires.

강사 첨삭

Thank you very much, Jason^^

I totally agree that our society is REALLY unfair.

Ha! Ha! I have too much hatred in my heart!

I have been thinking about it plenty of times and I think it is impossible for a society to be fair to everyone.

>>CORRECT!

There are my opinions as below.
>>My opinions are stated as below.
Most people think that society to be fair to everyone.

>>Most people think that society must be fair to everyone.

 However, if they have to give up something that they have easily taken for the others who have never taken the same thing, then they will not give it up for the others without any compensation.

>>However, if they have to give up something that they have easily taken from others who have never taken the same thing, then they will not give it up for others without any compensation.

 That’s because they don’t have any reason to sacrifice for others.

>>CORRECT!

Thus, kind of member of the National Assembly and high-ranking officials make rules only good for them.

>>Thus, members of the National Assembly and high-ranking officials make rules only good for them.

 Hence, ordinary people will not be able to win rich people when they have problem at court even if they didn\'t make any event since most regulations are set well for the wealth people.

>> Hence, ordinary people will not be able to win against rich people when they have problems at court even if they didn\'t commit any crimes since most regulations are set well for the wealth people.

Furthermore, most ordinary people might not be able to hire capable lawyer for solving the problem in the court due to the high costs.
>>Furthermore, most ordinary people might not be able to hire capable lawyers to solve the problem in the court due to the high costs.
Moreover, in my opinion, there are no perfect places to be fair to everyone in the world.

>>CORRECT!

Besides, I don\'t think haven is fair to everyone because there are ranks and positions there too.

>>Besides, I don\'t think heaven is fair to everyone, because there are ranks and positions there too.

So, how come it is exist in the real world even there were no fair world in the haven?
>>So, how come it exists in the real world when that place isn\'t even fair?
But, fortunately, many people have realized this kind of unfairness about society.

>>But, fortunately, many people have realized this kind of inequality about society.

Hence, we want and hope to try to change these systems.

>>CORRECT!

So, I wish unfairness will be becoming fairer to the people.

>>So, I wish it would become fairer to the people.

 Unless, in my opinion, it will not to be perfect even if after hundred years later since we are human who has many ambitions and desires.

>>Unless, in my opinion, it will not to be perfect even if after hundred years later since we are only humans who have many ambitions and desires.

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기

영어첨삭교정 ·