A four-day work week
학생이 쓴 원문
As technologies are improving in modern society,we are worried about losing jobs in the future. Some reject accepting the tech in their job field. Some try to adjust for the tech by themselves. I think improving technology must lead to better life for everyone. If it won\'t happen, it would be a disaster for human being. Imagine the future, if many companies accept the modern tech such as AI or robot, they could reduce spending for their products as the results,they serve the same stuffs as cheaper price, but there would be no one to buy them, because many people who would be fired from company couldn\'t afford to buy their products. It is ridiculous. The benefits of improving technology must be given to all people in the world, of course the amount of benefits could be different. According to improving tech, human\'s life style must be changed. People could less work, do more leisure activities. Nowadays people began to talk about a 4-day week, but we need to discuss more for the future.
강사 첨삭
Hi!
Thank you for submitting your answer.
I truly appreciate the thoughtful ideas you shared, especially how you expanded the discussion to include the advancement of technology and its impact on society.
I also made some minor corrections to improve grammar and make your sentences sound more natural. Overall, very good work! ^^
~ Teacher Gina
>> CORRECT.
>> Or: Our concern about job displacement grows as technologies gets more advanced in modern society.
Some reject accepting the tech in their job field.
>> CORRECT.
Some try to adjust for the tech by themselves.
>> CORRECT.
I think improving technology must lead to better life for everyone.
>> I think improving technology must lead to a better life for everyone.
If it won\'t happen, it would be a disaster for human being.
>> If it won\'t happen, it would be a disaster for human beings.
Imagine the future, if many companies accept the modern tech such as AI or robot, they could reduce spending for their products as the results,they serve the same stuffs as cheaper price, but there would be no one to buy them, because many people who would be fired from company couldn\'t afford to buy their products.
>> Imagine the future: if many companies accept modern tech such as AI or robots, they could reduce their production cost and sell them at a cheaper price. However, there would be no one to buy them because people who were fired from their companies couldn\'t afford to buy their products.
It is ridiculous.
>> CORRECT.
The benefits of improving technology must be given to all people in the world, of course the amount of benefits could be different.
>> CORRECT.
>> Or: The benefits of advancing technology must be shared to everyone in the world, although the amount could differ.
According to improving tech, human\'s life style must be changed.
>> According to improving tech, human\'s lifestyle must be changed.
>> Or: As technology advances, human\'s lifestyle must evolve.
People could less work, do more leisure activities.
>> People could work less, and do more leisure activities.
Nowadays people began to talk about a 4-day week, but we need to discuss more for the future.
>> CORRECT.
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