A Gay
학생이 쓴 원문
Topic : Is your country gay-friendly?
I think that my country isn’t gay-friendly.
My country is conservative. It is very difficult to accept that.
Developed countries start to accept them recently. So, I think we need more time.
Also, many people oppose a gay by religious reason.
And I am not gay-friendly because of some reasons.
I didn’t believe religion so, religious reason is not.
First, it cause venereal disease by their sex. Actually, it is appeared statistics.
Second, I think that a gay can influence other people in special circumstance like military.
Finally, I have right not to like them.
I don’t like them, but I don’t hate them. That’s all.
Honestly, I am not interested in them.
If they don’t do damage to me, I don’t care what they do.
강사 첨삭
Hi Se [이름]!
Here are the corrections.
I think that my country isn’t gay-friendly. My country is conservative. It is very difficult to accept that.
>>Correct!
Developed countries start to accept them recently. So, I think we need more time. Also, many people oppose a gay by religious reason.
>>Developed countries start to accept them recently. So, I think we need more time. Also, many people oppose gays by religious reasons.
And I am not gay-friendly because of some reasons. I didn’t believe religion so, religious reason is not.
>>And, I am not gay-friendly because of some reasons. I didn’t believe in religions so, it is not a reason.
First, it cause venereal disease by their sex. Actually, it is appeared statistics. Second, I think that a gay can influence other people in special circumstance like military.
>>First, they cause venereal diseases by sexing. Actually, it was appeared in statistics. Second, I think that a gay can influence other people in a special circumstance like military.
Finally, I have right not to like them. I don’t like them, but I don’t hate them. That’s all.
>>Finally, I have a right not to like them. I don’t like them, but I don’t hate them. That’s all.
Honestly, I am not interested in them. If they don’t do damage to me, I don’t care what they do.
>>Honestly, I am not interested in them. If they don’t do any damage to me, I don’t care what they do.
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