A girl with a new heart

2012-05-02 · 첨삭 강사 Liza

학생이 쓴 원문

Here's a great stroy about a girl who have a mirracle. A 11-month old gril who have suffurred from a heart disease finally got a new life! Fortunately for her, although the parent of the donator lost their child, she was given a new heart from another little child and underwent a heart trasplant surgery successfully on Apri 13. The surgeon who carried out the surgery had many expirience of that kind of surgery, and he did a goog job at this time, too. I hope she will get over and go to the general ward, soon. The mother of her was [이름], but she mada a good and brave decision for her daughter. We have a saying, 'Women is weak, but mother is strong!' Thank you for your great class, Cam. Have a nice day and see you. YG

강사 첨삭

Hi Sir YG, thank you once again for dropping in your composition.. About your composition, life is really amazing. And we should be very thankful for this God-givel life. ^^ And I also wanna say thank you for always preparing for our class Sir YG and for being so active and smart!! Two thumbs up for you..^^ talk to you again tomorrow Sir YG and always take care of yourself.. Teacher Cam^^ Here\'s a great stroy about a girl who have a mirracle. >>Here\'s a great story about a girl who experienced a miracle.A 11-month old gril who have suffurred from a heart disease finally got a new life! >>An 11-month old girl who suffered from a heart disease finally got a new life!Fortunately for her, although the parent of the donator lost their child, she was given a new heart from another little child and underwent a heart trasplant surgery successfully on Apri 13. >>Fortunately, though the parent of the donor lost their child, she was given a hew heart from a 4-month old baby and underwent a heart transplant surgery successfully last April 13.The surgeon who carried out the surgery had many expirience of that kind of surgery, and he did a goog job at this time, too. >>correct..Just be mindful of the spelling of the word EXPERIENCE and GOOD..:)I hope she will get over and go to the general ward, soon. >>correctThe mother of her was [이름], but she mada a good and brave decision for her daughter. >>The mother was [이름] but she made a good and brave decision for her daughter. We have a saying, \'Women is weak, but mother is strong!\'>>We have a saying that women are weak but mothers are strong.Thank you for your great class, Cam.Have a nice day and see you. >>correctYG >>correct

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