A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Ol

2020-11-23 · 첨삭 강사 Gemma

학생이 쓴 원문

I partially agree with this topic. A person\'s has been changed as time goes by but I think the fundamental value hasn\'t changed so far. People live for being happy and we also work for achieving our values. Every person has their goal and To achieve it, they try to do whatever they would like to do. I guess that the ultimate goal is having fame from everyone. However, social status and possession would be the important factor to get fame. Most developed countries have solved the difficulties about eating, housing and wearing. People would like to find something that could fit their values. I think that old-fashioned value is more important than current value that many people would like to have. People tend to think that having assets is the first thing to get other values but I don\'t think that is right. We can follow our values without money and social position.

강사 첨삭

Hi there Sir [이름]. It\'s cold now~! ^^ Keep yourself warm! ^^ Thanks for doing your homework. Keep expressing your ideas!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA 
I partially agree with this topic. 
>>> CORRECT
A person\'s has been changed as time goes by but I think the fundamental value hasn\'t changed so far. 
>>> People change as time goes by but I think the fundamental value hasn\'t changed so far. 
People live for being happy and we also work for achieving our values. 
>>> People live to be happy and we also work to achieve our values. 
Every person has their goal and To achieve it, they try to do whatever they would like to do. 
>>> Every person has his own goal and to achieve it, he tries to do whatever he  likes to do. 
I guess that the ultimate goal is having fame from everyone. 
>>> CORRECT
However, social status and possession would be the important factor to get fame. 
>>> However, social status and possession would be the important factor to be famous.
Most developed countries have solved the difficulties about eating, housing and wearing.
>>> Most developed countries have solved the difficulties about eating, housing and clothing.
 People would like to find something that could fit their values.
>>> CORRECT
 I think that old-fashioned value is more important than the current value that many people would like to have. 
>>> CORRECT
People tend to think that having assets is the first thing to get other values but I don\'t think that is right.
>>> CORRECT
We can follow our values without money and social position.
>>> CORRECT

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