a story
학생이 쓴 원문
강사 첨삭
Hi there!
Great composition! We like the way you told the story and for giving a specific example related with the topic.
Please take note the correct usage of verbs.
Keep up the good work!
Today's our topic was the reunion of North's and South's families.
>> Today's topic was the reunion of North's and South's families.
I read a heart-breaking story about the brothers on news.
>> I read a heart-breaking story about two brothers on the news.
There were two brothers.
>> (Omit)
One had lived in North area and the other one had lived in South area of Korea before the Korean war occured.
>> One had lived in the North and the other one had lived in the South of Korea before the Korean War occurred.
As the Korean war was commenced in 1950, each brother became to participate in the war to fight.
>> As the Korean War commenced in 1950, each brother needed to fight in the war.
The brother had not seen each other since then.
>> The brothers had not seen each other since then.
At the reunion event, the younger brother was showed up but the older couldn't. He died in the war.
>> At the reunion event, the younger brother showed up but the older one didn’t. He died in the war.
The old man who losed his brother said, "Whenever I took a shot, I was scared of that the victim would be my brother."
>> The old man who lost his brother said, "Whenever I took a shot, I was scared that the victim would be my brother."
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.