A useful skill to succeed.

2020-04-28 · 첨삭 강사 Jedah

학생이 쓴 원문

Considering that the ever-changing nature of the contemporary world, it is almost impossible to determine what skills one should learn in order to succeed in the future since a skill that seems to be promising now could turn out to be obsolete in the years to come. Not to mention that machines that feature cutting-edge technologies are superseding the human workforce in many areas. However, I firmly believe that the ability to develop one\'s distinctive idea will play a key role when it comes to his or her career path. Once individuals come up with their distinguishable thoughts or relevant products, there are a decent amount of platforms through which they are able to deliver or sell their uniqueness. For example, an increasing number of people are successfully gaining fames and fortunes by expressing their contents via unconventional types of social media such as Youtube. Though there are concerns regarding those media, it is clear that people with ideas are more likely to thrive.

강사 첨삭

Hi Drexel! Thank you for investing a little of your time with your homework. I really appreciate the effort. ^ ^
I would definitely agree with you. I guess what the youth can do now is to harness as many and as much skills as they can while they can. Who knows what skills may come in handy for them in the future! ^ ^
-Teacher Jedah

Considering that the ever-changing nature of the contemporary world, it is almost impossible to determine what skills one should learn in order to succeed in the future since a skill that seems to be promising now could turn out to be obsolete in the years to come. 
>>CORRECT (this could be made into two sentences)
>>Considering that the ever-changing nature of the contemporary world, it is almost impossible to determine what skills one should learn in order to succeed in the future.
>>A skill that seems to be promising now could turn out to be obsolete in the years to come, not to mention machines with feature cutting-edge technologies are superseding the human workforce in many areas. 
Not to mention that machines that feature cutting-edge technologies are superseding the human workforce in many areas. 
>>CORRECT (but actually this one could be incorporated with the first sentence when you have chunked the first sentence into two.)
However, I firmly believe that the ability to develop one\'s distinctive idea will play a key role when it comes to his or her career path. 
>>CORRECT
Once individuals come up with their distinguishable thoughts or relevant products, there are a decent amount of platforms through which they are able to deliver or sell their uniqueness. 
>>CORRECT
For example, an increasing number of people are successfully gaining fames and fortunes by expressing their contents via unconventional types of social media such as Youtube. 
>>CORRECT
Though there are concerns regarding those media, it is clear that people with ideas are more likely to thrive.
>>CORRECT

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