About beauty competitions
학생이 쓴 원문
What is your opinion of beauty competitions like Miss. [Name] and Miss. [Name]? Answer in 5 sentences or more.
I\'ll tell you about positive aspect first. It can make beauty or fashion trend. It supply many jobs like models, designers, editors, etc..
And it makes people more happier.
In negative aspect, the child can follow adult\'s beauty. The 7 years old girl is most beautiful when her behavior like 7 years old.
If the girl enjoy watching the beauty competition program, she has going to follow them.
강사 첨삭
Hi Kate!
You expressed some good insights here.
Good job.
make sure that you be careful when it comes to subject and verb agreement.
Refer to the corrections below.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I\'ll tell you about positive aspect first.
>> I\'ll tell you about the positive aspect first.
It can make beauty or fashion trend.
>> It can start a beauty or fashion trend.
It supply many jobs like models, designers, editors, etc..
>> It also provides many job opportunities for models, designers, editors and others.
And it makes people more happier.
And it makes people more happier.
>> It makes people happier.
In negative aspect, the child can follow adult\'s beauty.
In negative aspect, the child can follow adult\'s beauty.
>> The negative aspect would be children trying to imitate an adult\'s appearance.
The 7 years old girl is most beautiful when her behavior like 7 years old.
>> A 7-year-old girl is most beautiful when her behavior is like a 7-year-old.
If the girl enjoy watching the beauty competition program, she has going to follow them.
If the girl enjoy watching the beauty competition program, she has going to follow them.
>> If a girl enjoys watching beauty competition programs, she\'s definitely going to follow the contestants.
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