About Me!

2021-03-31 · 첨삭 강사 Oneil

학생이 쓴 원문

My name is [Name]-[이름], [이름], but [이름] is difficult to pronunciate. So I made my English name. I am 40 years old. I don\'t get used to be my age. I hate getting old. When I was in Australia, I met a married couple. A wife of the couple asked my age, after knowing my age she was surprised. People from other countries estimate my age younger than my real age. That\'s why, I love to go to other countries. I used to belong in a soccer club. I was fast, and powerful, but not now. I do exercise every evening to get my previous body shape. I have been walking out in every evening, although yellow dust is the worst situation. I lost some weight, and I got a sore throat and a runny nose. I feel a little bit dizzy, because I took a medicine also. I don\'t know how I wrote this article. See you tomorrow. Bye~!

강사 첨삭

I think you did very well!! Thank you for doing this article. :) 

My name is [Name]-[이름], [이름], but [이름] is difficult to pronunciate. 
>> My name is [Name]-[이름], [이름], but [이름] is difficult to enunciate. 
>> OR: >> My name is [Name]-[이름], [이름], but I think [이름] is difficult to pronounce. 

So I made my English name. 
>> So, I chose an English name for myself. 

I am 40 years old. I don\'t get used to be my age.
>> I am 40 years old. I think I won\'t get used to being my age.

 I hate getting old. When I was in Australia, I met a married couple.
>> Correct. 

 A wife of the couple asked my age, after knowing my age she was surprised.
>>  The woman asked my age when I told her, she was surprised.

 People from other countries estimate my age younger than my real age. 
>> Correct.

That\'s why, I love to go to other countries. I used to belong in a soccer club. 
>> That\'s why I love to go to other countries. I used to belong in a soccer club. 

I was fast, and powerful, but not now. 
>> I was fast and powerful, but now, I am not. 

I do exercise every evening to get my previous body shape. 
>> I exercise every evening to get my previous body shape. 

I have been walking out in every evening, although yellow dust is the worst situation. 
>> I have been walking out every evening, although the yellow dust situation got worst. 

I lost some weight, and I got a sore throat and a runny nose.
>> I lost some weight which is a good thing, but I got a sore throat and a runny nose.

I feel a little bit dizzy, because I took a medicine also.
>> I feel a little bit dizzy because I took medicine again.

I don\'t know how I wrote this article. See you tomorrow. Bye~!
>> Correct! 

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