About my family

2010-11-24 · 첨삭 강사 ali

학생이 쓴 원문

My family is 4 people. My husbnad is kind, generous and hansome. He works in a semicondutor company for sales. And I have two sons. They are 6 and 3 years old. The first son is Gun Woo who is well-behaved and quiet. He is hooked on dinosaurs thses days. So he has a lot of stuffs of dinosaurs toys. My little son is Joon woo who is a naughty boy. He is quite out-going and smart. He often get hurt during playing time. Many people around me told that I have to give birth to daughter because I would feel lonely. However, I am afraid of brining-up a baby again. I don't have enough money for that. Also, I am happy enough with my husband and two sons.

강사 첨삭

Hi Ms. [Name]! Thanks for this wonderful composition about your family; now I know some details about them and I wish to tell you that you are indeed very lucky to have them. It would be nice to raise a daughter too; it is beautiful to have a princess in the house. =) Great job here and see you in class tomorrow! Take care always! Ali   My family is 4 people. >>> We are four in the family. >>>OR: My family consists of four.  My husbnad is kind, generous and hansome. >>>OK; Just the spelling of handsome. He works in a semicondutor company for sales. >>>OK And I have two sons. >>>OK They are 6 and 3 years old. >>>OK The first son is Gun Woo who is well-behaved and quiet. >>> My first son, Gun Woo, is well-behaved and quiet. He is hooked on dinosaurs thses days. >>>OK; Just the spelling of these. So he has a lot of stuffs of dinosaurs toys. >>> So he has a lot of dinosaur toys and stuff. My little son is Joon woo who is a naughty boy. >>> My little son,  Joon woo, is a naughty boy. He is quite out-going and smart. >>>OK He often get hurt during playing time. >>> He often gets hurt during play time.Many people around me told that I have to give birth to daughter because I would feel lonely. >>> Many people around me told that I have to give birth to a daughter because I would feel lonely. >>>OR: Many people around me told me that I should have a dughter because I would feel lonely. However, I am afraid of brining-up a baby again. I don't have enough money for that. >>>OK Also, I am happy enough with my husband and two sons. >>>OK

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