About My Hometown
학생이 쓴 원문
강사 첨삭
Hello Miss. [Name]! Thank you for telling me about your hometown. I\'ve heard a lot of good things about it. I think that you are very lucky to stay there. You can definitely a good option for your children\'s education. By, the way, look below for the corrections I made on your work. Have a good day!~~T.Dee
My hometown is in Gangnam of Seoul.
>>CORRECT!
>>OR: My hometown is Gangnam which located in Seoul City.
Gangnam means the southern part of Seoul The Han-Gang(the Han River) flows through Seoul from the east to the west just like the Sene River in Paris and it seperates Seoul into the southern part and the northern part.
>>Gangnam means that it is the southern part of Seoul.
The Han-Gang (the Han River) flows through Seoul from the east to the west just like the Sene River in Paris and it seperates Seoul into the southern part and the northern part. (Separate these to ideas with a period to deliver your thoughts more clearly.)
My hometown is most famous for education.
>>CORRECT!
>>OR: My hometown is most famous for quality education.
There are so many childrens and students here.
>>There are so many children and students here.
A lot of parents gather here to give their children the better eduation.
>>A lot of parents gather here to give their children the better education.
So there are so many private academys for English, Math and so on.
>>There are so many private academys for English, Math and so on.
My children grew here and they\'ve got education here too.
>>My children grew up here and they\'ve got good education here too.
Sometimes I don\'t think that this system is good for all children and students.
>>Sometimes, I don\'t think that this system of competitiveness is good for all children and students.
But I love my hometown because it\'s so convenient for modern life and it\'s so clean.
>>But still, I love my hometown because it\'s so convenient for modern life and it\'s so clean.
And mostly it\'s friendly to me now.
>>And most of all, it\'s a friendly place for me to live in right now.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.