According to the article, many working parents, especially mothers, drop out of jobs upon their chil

2023-01-16 · 첨삭 강사 Camille

학생이 쓴 원문

It is well known that price in Korea is really high and house price is also extremely expensive. It is almost impossible to buy own house, if parents don\'t work together in their life time. It has been new normal that parents work together for child education and general expenses in each household. However, Childcare is the major problem that can\'t be solved. People would like to send their children to a nursery or a child-care facility while they are working but its operation time is not enough for them because most companies start work about at 8 to 9 am and finish their work at 5 to 7 pm. Parents can\'t pick children up before the nursery closes. Although, some facilities extend the operation hours until late night, most children go back home early. It makes children who need to stay there for a long time sad and gloomy. That\'s why mothers consider quit their job when their children enter the school. They want to be involved every activity and take care of them at home in the evening

강사 첨삭

Good day, Sir [이름]!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

It is well known that price in Korea is really high and house price is also extremely expensive. 
>> CORRECT! 
It is almost impossible to buy own house, if parents don\'t work together in their life time. 
>> CORRECT! 
It has been new normal that parents work together for child education and general expenses in each household. 
>> It has been the new normal that parents work together for their child\'s education and general expenses in each household. 
However, Childcare is the major problem that can\'t be solved. 
>> CORRECT! 
People would like to send their children to a nursery or a child-care facility while they are working but its operation time is not enough for them because most companies start work about at 8 to 9 am and finish their work at 5 to 7 pm. 
>> People would like to send their children to a nursery or a child-care facility while they are working but its operation time is not enough for them because most companies start their work at 8 to 9 am and finish their work at 5 to 7 pm. 
Parents can\'t pick children up before the nursery closes. 
>> CORRECT! 
Although, some facilities extend the operation hours until late night, most children go back home early.
>> CORRECT! 
It makes children who need to stay there for a long time sad and gloomy. 
>> CORRECT! 
That\'s why mothers consider quit their job when their children enter the school. 
>> That\'s why mothers consider quitting their job when their children enter the school. 
They want to be involved every activity and take care of them at home in the evening
>> They want to be involved in every activity and take care of them at home in the evening.

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