Adoption
학생이 쓴 원문
I know that adoption should be happened when we think about unfortunate children. In addition, it is a very good way to contribute to society. However, that is true it requires a lot of effort. Even such of those might be more than when we raise our children. In Korea, it has been a shame that many Korean children are still being adopted by forigners not Korean. The social mind about adoption is not still very natural. I certainly understand we have to do something for unfortunate children because this problem that they don't have their parents or their parents can't raise babys is not only their own family's one. But, I'm not very confident to take somebody's children. So, If I happend similar situation to me, I would choose to get artificial insemitation.
강사 첨삭
Hello [이름],
Interesting take on adoption here. It makes me wonder how I would react to having to adopt children of my own. Talk to you again tomorrow.
-RJ
I know that adoption should be happened when we think about unfortunate children.
>>I know that adoption should be considered when we think about unfortunate children.
In addition, it is a very good way to contribute to society.
>>correct
However, that is true it requires a lot of effort.
>>However, it is true it requires a lot of effort.
Even such of those might be more than when we raise our children.
>>correct
In Korea, it has been a shame that many Korean children are still being adopted by forigners not Korean.
>>In Korea, it has been a shame that many Korean children are still being adopted by forigners, not Koreans.
The social mind about adoption is not still very natural.
>>The social opinion about adoption is not still unfavorable.
I certainly understand we have to do something for unfortunate children because this problem that they don't have their parents or their parents can't raise babys is not only their own family's one.
>>I certainly understand we have to do something for unfortunate children because of the problem that they don't have their parents or their parents can't raise their own children is not only their own family's problem.
But, I'm not very confident to take somebody's children.
>>But, I'm not very confident to take care of someone else's child.
So, If I happend similar situation to me, I would choose to get artificial insemitation.
>> So, If I was in a similar situation, I would choose to get artificial insemenation.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.