Advances in medical technology mean people are living longer. What are some of the downsides of this
학생이 쓴 원문
I believe that with development of medical technology, people\'s life expectancy is getting longer and longer than before. They can check by checking health in advance exam and be cared by high medical cure ways.
However, there are some drawbacks. Firstly, some people are just living in the ICU of hospitals or nursing homes by depending on ventilators or oxygen system. They cannot speak and breath by themselves without those devices, so we have some doubts if it is valid or not when it comes to qualities of the life. In addition, I think as long as we live, we have to live healthy with having stamina rather than living longer and longer.
Personally, I want to live until my mid 80s with health. I want to work until my 65 ages and then I\'d like to live more worthy such as helping people who are in need.
강사 첨삭
Hello, [이름]! ^^
Thank you for the composition.
See you in our next class! :)
~ Teacher Tricia
I believe that with development of medical technology, people\'s life expectancy is getting longer and longer than before.
>>> I believe that with the development of medical technology, people\'s life expectancy will get longer and longer than before.
They can check by checking health in advance exam and be cared by high medical cure ways.
>>> They can be checked by checking health in the advance exam and be cared for by high medical cure ways.
However, there are some drawbacks.
>>> CORRECT!
Firstly, some people are just living in the ICU of hospitals or nursing homes by depending on ventilators or oxygen system.
>>> Firstly, some people are just living in the ICUs of hospitals or nursing homes depending on ventilators or oxygen systems.
They cannot speak and breath by themselves without those devices, so we have some doubts if it is valid or not when it comes to qualities of the life.
>>> They cannot speak and breathe by themselves without those devices, so we have some doubts if it is valid or not when it comes to qualities of the life.
In addition, I think as long as we live, we have to live healthy with having stamina rather than living longer and longer.
>>> In addition, I think as long as we live, we have to live healthily with stamina rather than living longer and longer.
Personally, I want to live until my mid 80s with health.
>>> Personally, I want to live until my mid-80s healthy.
I want to work until my 65 ages and then I\'d like to live more worthy such as helping people who are in need.
>>> I want to work until the age of 65 then I\'d like to live more worthy such as helping people who are in need.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.