Although parents are responsible for raising a child, outside influence plays a key role in their de

2024-06-21 · 첨삭 강사 Gemma

학생이 쓴 원문

I disagree with the statement that outside influence play a key role in a child\'s development. Here\'s why: Parents are typically the primary caregivers and educators in a child\'s life. They help children construct values, beliefs and behaviors while they are growing up. It is common belief that children who don\'t get proper care from their parents usually behave badly. They might struggle to make friends at school, so they tend to bother peers to get attention from their friends. Parents play a crucial role in shaping core values, morals and a sense of identity in their children. These elements form the basis upon which children understand themselves and interact with the world around them. Strong parental bonds and guidance can mitigate the impact of negative outside influences. If children have a strong bond with their parents, they are more likely to resist peer pressure, negative media messages and social norms. While outside influences contribute to a child\'s development, they imp

강사 첨삭

Wishing you a fantastic start to the weekend Mr. [이름]!  I am particularly impressed with your discussion of the issue for raising children. You have generally added supporting arguments and necessary point of views. Good job!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I disagree with the statement that outside influence play a key role in a child\'s development. 
>>> CORRECT!^^
Here\'s why: Parents are typically the primary caregivers and educators in a child\'s life. 
>>> CORRECT!^^
They help children construct values, beliefs and behaviors while they are growing up.
>>> CORRECT!^^
 It is common belief that children who don\'t get proper care from their parents usually behave badly. 
>>> CORRECT!^^
They might struggle to make friends at school, so they tend to bother peers to get attention from their friends. 
>>> CORRECT!^^
Parents play a crucial role in shaping core values, morals and a sense of identity in their children. 
>>> CORRECT!^^
These elements form the basis upon which children understand themselves and interact with the world around them. 
>>> CORRECT!^^
Strong parental bonds and guidance can mitigate the impact of negative outside influences. 
>>> CORRECT!^^
If children have a strong bond with their parents, they are more likely to resist peer pressure, negative media messages and social norms.
>>> CORRECT!^^
 While outside influences contribute to a child\'s development...
>>> CORRECT!^^

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