and there was a story.

2013-12-19 · 첨삭 강사 Leah

학생이 쓴 원문

As the owener of pet in the past, I agree with them who want to think their pet as family. Love makes all things possible. So there are not incorrect decision or correct decision. I just stand their position whatever their choice is. But something exist in our society which have not to be occurred. If there are someone who is suffering from scream sound of pet or smell of pet. and then, pet owner must appology to him or her. and get a admission to them. because We are living in society. we don't have any right to torture other people. Believe or not, there was a story. In the center of galleria, the picture of bull is drown on ground. If one who want to achive one's dream, the thing have to do is that one have to gramp bull's penis and turn around. That's it. of course I did that. After that, we went to out of the building. we found a statue modeled Reonardo Da Vinci.

강사 첨삭

Hello there!

That is a very thoughtful opinion you stated. I also believe that everyone is entitled to his/her opinion and that one thing does not apply to everyone. I agree, too, with what you said about living in a society. 

You did a great job stating a very clear opinion on the subject. There are just some minor grammar mistakes that I have spotted. Please go over the corrections.

Have a wonderful day!

T. Nina^^

As the owener of pet in the past, I agree with them who want to think their pet as family.

>>As a pet owner in the past, I agree with those who think of their pet as family.

Love makes all things possible.

>>CORRECT

So there are not incorrect decision or correct decision.

>>So there are no correct or incorrect opinions. 

I just stand their position whatever their choice is.

>>I just stand by whatever their position is.

OR >>I just accept whatever their choice is.
But something exist in our society which have not to be occurred.

>>But there is something in our society which has not yet occurred.
If there are someone who is suffering from scream sound of pet or smell of pet.

>>If there is someone who is troubled by the noise and smell of a pet_
and then, pet owner must appology to him or her. and get a admission to them. 

>>_then, the pet owner must apologize and must concede.

because We are living in society. we don\'t have any right to torture other people.

>>This is because we are living in a society. We don\'t have any right to pester other people.
Believe or not, there was a story.

>>CORRECT
In the center of galleria, the picture of bull is drown on ground.

>>In the center of a galleria, a picture of a bull is drawn on the ground.
If one who want to achive one\'s dream, the thing have to do is that one have to gramp bull\'s penis and turn around.

>>If one wants to achieve his or her dream, the person must grasp the bull\'s penis and turn around.

That\'s it. of course I did that.

>>That\'s it, and of course I did that.^^
After that, we went to out of the building. we found a statue modeled Reonardo Da Vinci.

>>After that we went out of the building and we found a statue of Leonardo Da Vinci.^^

 

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기