Animal

2011-07-14 · 첨삭 강사 Marie

학생이 쓴 원문

A long time a go the on hunderd thousand animals liveed in Earth.but today we can see fifteen thousand animals lives in Earth.an also today anendangered spedes type animal living about one hundred.it a few animals.I think (I want to keep the engangered spedes animals and i wil safe th eanimals we can safe the animals!

강사 첨삭

Hi Justin! ^.^

Thanks for dropping by and sending in your composition. Here are some of the corrections I've made.

A long time a go the on hunderd thousand animals liveed in Earth.

>>A long time ago, a hundred thousand animals lived on Earth.

but today we can see fifteen thousand animals lives in Earth.

>>But today, we can see fifteen thousand animals living on Earth.
an also today anendangered spedes type animal living about one hundred.

>>And also today, about one hundred endangered species that exist.

it a few animals.

>>There are only a few animals.

>> The number of animals are decreasing.

I think (I want to keep the engangered spedes animals and i wil safe th eanimals
>>I think, I want to keep the endangered species and protect these animals. 
we can safe the animals!

>>We can save the animals!

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