answer
학생이 쓴 원문
you've already know my character by checking my application form. the strongest reason that you employ me I live next to your store. I don't go to school. I'm very flexible. I just focus on my work. so whenever you need a worker you just call me. if you call me i will be in here within 5minutes.
I can tell you my 3 top qualities I have. Hard worker - I work hard and learn quickly. Big Smile - I always have a smile. Kindness - I am friendly because I like meeting people. I want to be a good teacher. to be a good teacher I need diverse experiences. so starbucks is best place to me. if I work in here I'll meet uncountable people and have precious memories. such a great experience help to teach my students.
when I worked in my uncle's restaurant one child fall down in stairs. at first I call ambulance and then I noticed the situation to a manager. and then I made the child and her family calm down. fortunately she was okay. I think when I meet a big problem, I tend to calm down.
강사 첨삭
Hi there!
Thank you for sending this over. I think the best qualities you have are really important. Keep it up!
How I wish you will get this job. This is a good training for you.
Good luck!
Anyway, kindly go over trhe corrections I made for your work. :)
~Teacher Ritchel
you\'ve already know my character by checking my application form.
>> You\'ve already known my character by checking my application form.
>> OR: You\'ve already known my character by looking through my application.
the strongest reason that you employ me I live next to your store.
>> The strongest reason that you should employ me is that I live next to your store.
I don\'t go to school.
>> Correct!
I\'m very flexible.
>> Correct!
I just focus on my work.
>> Correct!
so whenever you need a worker you just call me.
>> So whenever you need a worker, just call me.
>> OR: So whenever you need someone, you can call me.
if you call me i will be in here within 5minutes.>> If you call me, I will be here in 5 minutes.
>> OR: If you call me, I be there in 5 minutes.I can tell you my 3 top qualities I have.
>> I can tell you my top 3 qualities.
>> OR: I can tell you the strongest qualities I have.
Hard worker - I work hard and learn quickly.
>> Hardworker - I work hard and I learn quickly.
Big Smile - I always have a smile.
>> Big smile - I always smile.
Kindness - I am friendly because I like meeting people.
>> Correct!
>> BETTER: Kindness - I am kind. I am also friendly because I like meeting people.
I want to be a good teacher.
>> Correct!
to be a good teacher I need diverse experiences.
>> I need to have diverse experiences to become a good teacher.
>> OR: To be a good teacher, I need to have diverse experiences.
so starbucks is best place to me.
>> So Starbucks is the best place for me.
>> OR: The best place for me is Startbucks.if I work in here I\'ll meet uncountable people and have precious memories.
>> If I work in your company, I\'ll meet many people and will have precious memories.
such a great experience help to teach my students.>> Such a great experience will help me teach my students.when I worked in my uncle\'s restaurant one child fall down in stairs.
>> when I worked in my uncle\'s restaurant, one child fell off the stairs.
at first I call ambulance and then I noticed the situation to a manager.
>> At first, I called the ambulance and then notified the manager about the situation.
and then I made the child and her family calm down.
>> Then I made the child and her family calm down.
fortunately she was okay.
>> Fortunately, she was okay.
>> OR: She was fortunately okay.
I think when I meet a big problem, I tend to calm down.
>> I think whenever I encounter a big problem, I tend to calm down.
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