answer

2013-05-27 · 첨삭 강사 Ritchel

학생이 쓴 원문

you've already know my character by checking my application form. the strongest reason that you employ me I live next to your store. I don't go to school. I'm very flexible. I just focus on my work. so whenever you need a worker you just call me. if you call me i will be in here within 5minutes. I can tell you my 3 top qualities I have. Hard worker - I work hard and learn quickly. Big Smile - I always have a smile. Kindness - I am friendly because I like meeting people. I want to be a good teacher. to be a good teacher I need diverse experiences. so starbucks is best place to me. if I work in here I'll meet uncountable people and have precious memories. such a great experience help to teach my students. when I worked in my uncle's restaurant one child fall down in stairs. at first I call ambulance and then I noticed the situation to a manager. and then I made the child and her family calm down. fortunately she was okay. I think when I meet a big problem, I tend to calm down.

강사 첨삭

Hi there! Thank you for sending this over. I think the best qualities you have are really important. Keep it up! How I wish you will get this job. This is a good training for you. Good luck! Anyway, kindly go over trhe corrections I made for your work. :) ~Teacher Ritchel you\'ve already know my character by checking my application form. >> You\'ve already known my character by checking my application form. >> OR: You\'ve already known my character by looking through my application. the strongest reason that you employ me I live next to your store. >> The strongest reason that you should employ me is that I live next to your store. I don\'t go to school. >> Correct! I\'m very flexible. >> Correct! I just focus on my work. >> Correct! so whenever you need a worker you just call me. >> So whenever you need a worker, just call me. >> OR: So whenever you need someone, you can call me. if you call me i will be in here within 5minutes.>> If you call me, I will be here in 5 minutes. >> OR: If you call me, I be there in 5 minutes.I can tell you my 3 top qualities I have. >> I can tell you my top 3 qualities. >> OR: I can tell you the strongest qualities I have. Hard worker - I work hard and learn quickly. >> Hardworker - I work hard and I learn quickly. Big Smile - I always have a smile. >> Big smile - I always smile. Kindness - I am friendly because I like meeting people. >> Correct! >> BETTER: Kindness - I am kind. I am also friendly because I like meeting people. I want to be a good teacher. >> Correct! to be a good teacher I need diverse experiences. >> I need to have diverse experiences to become a good teacher. >> OR: To be a good teacher, I need to have diverse experiences. so starbucks is best place to me. >> So Starbucks is the best place for me. >> OR: The best place for me is Startbucks.if I work in here I\'ll meet uncountable people and have precious memories. >> If I work in your company, I\'ll meet many people and will have precious memories. such a great experience help to teach my students.>> Such a great experience will help me teach my students.when I worked in my uncle\'s restaurant one child fall down in stairs. >> when I worked in my uncle\'s restaurant, one child fell off the stairs. at first I call ambulance and then I noticed the situation to a manager. >> At first, I called the ambulance and then notified the manager about the situation. and then I made the child and her family calm down. >> Then I made the child and her family calm down. fortunately she was okay. >> Fortunately, she was okay. >> OR: She was fortunately okay. I think when I meet a big problem, I tend to calm down. >> I think whenever I encounter a big problem, I tend to calm down.

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