Answer for 2/5
학생이 쓴 원문
Date : 2/5
HW Task2
Writing Exercise: A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Answer) 220words
In contemporary society, some people including non-government organizations insist people can\'t exploit animals because human being and they have same rights. On the other hand, others think this argument can\'t be accepted for satisfying people\'s needs. In my opinion, we need to employ animals. I have a few reasons.
At first, One of the reasons is that we can\'t save some patients from their illness if we give up employing animals. For example, in spite of remarkable development of science, we still can\'t produce insulin which can be extracted from a pig in a laboratory. But the number of patients who get diabetes is increasing. If we stop em
강사 첨삭
Hi Louie!
You would have to review a lot of expressions in this composition.
It is important to familiarize yourself with these terms so you can use them in similar situations.
Take note of the changes below.
I\'ll call you tomorrow.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
In contemporary society, some people including non-government organizations insist people can\'t exploit animals because human being and they have same rights.
>> In contemporary society, some groups, including non-government organizations insist that people can\'t exploit animals because they have the same rights as human beings.
On the other hand, others think this argument can\'t be accepted for satisfying people\'s needs.
>> On the other hand, others think that this argument can\'t be accepted for the purpose of satisfying people\'s needs.
In my opinion, we need to employ animals.
>> In my opinion, we need to take advantage of animals.
I have a few reasons.
>> Correct
At first, One of the reasons is that we can\'t save some patients from their illness if we give up employing animals.
At first, One of the reasons is that we can\'t save some patients from their illness if we give up employing animals.
>> First, one of the reasons is that we can\'t save some patients from their illness if we give up on getting benefits from animals.
For example, in spite of remarkable development of science, we still can\'t produce insulin which can be extracted from a pig in a laboratory.
>> For example, in spite of the remarkable development of science, we still can\'t produce insulin which can be extracted from a pig in a laboratory.
But the number of patients who get diabetes is increasing.
>> All the while, the number of diabetic patients is increasing.
If we stop employing a pig, the death rate of those patients will rapidly increase.
>> If we stop experimenting on a pig, the death rate of those patients will rapidly increase.
Therefore, employing animals is necessary to save people.
>> Therefore, animal testing is necessary to save people.
Secondly, animals are the fundamental source for research purpose to develop science and technology.
>> Secondly, animals are the fundamental source for research purposes to develop science and technology.
In 173 fields including biology, pharmacy, and molecular chemistry, animals are used for experiments.
>> Correct
90% of the fields can\'t develop without animal experiment.
>> 90% of the fields can\'t develop without animal experiments.
The reason human is top of the prey chain is because of the science and technology.
>> The reason why humans are on top of the food chain is because of science and technology.
In addition, by developing them we can prepare future risk such as overpopulation.
>> In addition, by developing science and technology, we can prepare for future risks such as overpopulation.
We explicitly need animal\'s honoured sacrifice.
>> We explicitly need animals\' honorable sacrifice.
Therefore, I strongly argue that we need to employ to save people from illness and to develop science and technology.
>> Therefore, I strongly argue that we need these animals to save people from illness and to develop science and technology.
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