Are gadgets more helpful or harmful for children’s social skills? Explain.
학생이 쓴 원문
I think gadgets are harmful for children\'s social skill. There\'re a lot of gadgets related with social media. And these devices are too exiting to keep away after experiencing them. Because childrens don\'t have enough patient as adults, they can be exposed easily from sensational contents. And it can cause media addiction. In fact, smartphone is common thesedays and there\'re too many video contents such as Youtube. Therefore, becasue teenagers prefer just watching video than reading books, their literacy is decreased than before.
강사 첨삭
Hello, Mary! You gave a clear opinion and supported it with realistic examples related to social media, smartphones, and video content. Your argument is logical and easy to follow. To improve further, focus on plural forms, prepositions, and academic word choices. With these small adjustments, your answer sounds strong and convincing. Well done!
-Teacher Wela
I think gadgets are harmful for children\'s social skill.
>> I think gadgets are harmful to children’s social skills.
There\'re a lot of gadgets related with social media.
>> There are many gadgets related to social media.
And these devices are too exiting to keep away after experiencing them.
>> These devices are too exciting to stay away from once children experience them.
Because childrens don\'t have enough patient as adults, they can be exposed easily from sensational contents.
>> Because children do not have as much patience as adults, they can be easily exposed to sensational content.
And it can cause media addiction.
>> This can lead to media addiction.
In fact, smartphone is common thesedays and there\'re too many video contents such as Youtube.
>> In fact, smartphones are common these days, and there is a large amount of video content such as YouTube.
Therefore, becasue teenagers prefer just watching video than reading books, their literacy is decreased than before.
>> Therefore, because teenagers prefer watching videos to reading books, their literacy levels are lower than before.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.