Are traffic accidents a major cause of death in your contry? How can we prevent it
학생이 쓴 원문
According to research, Korea have a rate of high traffic accidents caused death compared to Europe. It is almost double of rate of Europe\'s And also it is a one of main factor for death. what caused this high rate? I think one of reason is a characteristic of Korean.
Some people say Korea is the country with many quick tempered people. Many Korean cannot wait for long and hate to wait. The \"Palli Palli\" which means hurry up is the most common word in koreans daily life. We can easilly find that many people exceeding the speed limits when they driving
And drinking culture also can be a reason. Korean drinking culture it is common to force others to drink. After finishing the parties, some people make a big mistake, drinking driving. I believe drinking driving should be punished very strictly, however Korean legal system show generousity to the crime
Some speciallists claim, and I agree that strong punishiment for traffic accident and make more CCTV finding speeding car.
강사 첨삭
Good evening, [이름]!^^
Thank your for your effort in doing your homework. I was happy to read your composition because you have great insights. Keep up the good work. ^_^
According to research, Korea have a rate of high traffic accidents caused death compared to Europe.
>>>According to research, Korea has a higher rate of deaths caused by traffic accidents compared to Europe.
It is almost double of rate of Europe\'s And also it is a one of main factor for death.
>>> It is almost double the Europe\'s rate and also, it is the leading cause of death.
what caused this high rate? I think one of reason is a characteristic of Korean.
>>>What caused this high rate? I think one of reasons is the characteristics of Koreans.
Some people say Korea is the country with many quick tempered people.
>>>Some people say, Korea is the country with many quick tempered people.
Many Korean cannot wait for long and hate to wait.
>>>Many Koreans cannot wait for long periods of time and hate waiting.
The \"Palli Palli\" which means hurry up is the most common word in koreans daily life.
>>>The \"Palli Palli\" which means hurry up in English, is the most common word to Koreans\' daily lives.
We can easilly find that many people exceeding the speed limits when they driving
>>>We can easily find that many people exceeding the speed limits when they are driving.
And drinking culture also can be a reason.
>>> The drinking culture can also be the reason.
Korean drinking culture it is common to force others to drink.
>>>Korean drinking culture is common to force others to drink.
After finishing the parties, some people make a big mistake, drinking driving.
>>>After the parties, some people make a big mistake to drink and drive.
I believe drinking driving should be punished very strictly, however Korean legal system show generousity to the crime
>>>I believe drunk driving punishment should strictly implemented, however, the Korean legal system shows generosity to the crime.
Some speciallists claim, and I agree that strong punishiment for traffic accident and make more CCTV finding speeding car.
>>>Some specialists claim to give strong punishment for traffic accident violators and put more CCTV cameras on the roads to help find speeding cars in which I agree.
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