Are video games bad for kids?

2020-05-19 · 첨삭 강사 Melody

학생이 쓴 원문

I suppose yes. There are pros and cons about playing the video game. I prefer to spend my spare time by playing the game so that I could relieve my stress. On the other hand, I get used to meet the children using bad words when I play the game. I\'m sure that they wouldn\'t have known the meaning of what they are saying. People say to learn a bad behavior is much easier than to learn a good one. It\'s the easiest environment for kids to learn the bad thing of all others. Second, kids have a lack of patience and less control power. The game makes kids lose their minds and thought easily and quickly. Once the are addicted to the game, it\'s already over. Therefore, Every people might need to care the children always.

강사 첨삭

1. I suppose yes.
>>I suppose, yes.

2. There are pros and cons about playing the video game.
>>There are pros and cons of playing video game.

3. I prefer to spend my spare time by playing the game so that I could relieve my stress.
>>I prefer to spend my spare time by playing video game so that I could relieve my stress.

4. On the other hand, I get used to meet the children using bad words when I play the game.
>>On the other hand, I get used to meet children saying bad words when I play the game.

5. I\'m sure that they wouldn\'t have known the meaning of what they are saying.
>>CORRECT
OR>>For sure, they wouldn\'t have known the meaning of what they are saying.

6. People say to learn a bad behavior is much easier than to learn a good one.
>>CORRECT
>>People say that learning a bad behavior is much easier than to learning a good one.

7. It\'s the easiest environment for kids to learn the bad thing of all others.
>>CORRECT
OR>>It\'s the easiest environment for kids to learn bad things of all the places.

8. Second, kids have a lack of patience and less control power.
>>Second, kids lack patience and have less self control.

9. The game makes kids lose their minds and thought easily and quickly.
>>The game makes kids lose their minds and think easily and quickly.

10. Once the are addicted to the game, it\'s already over.
>>Once they are addicted to the game, it\'s already over.

11. Therefore, Every people might need to care the children always.
>>Therefore, every person might need to care about their children always. 

Very good sentences.

- T. Melody^^

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