Army

2022-03-26 · 첨삭 강사 Elise

학생이 쓴 원문

It\'s really personal opinion. I think it\'s best not to go if there\'s a way not to go to the army. In Korea the men should go to army. But if some men have way not go to he army, they should do it. 2 years it\'s so long time and time is so precious.

강사 첨삭

Hi Ann! 

With the stories that my students usually tell me, I think that it is also not good for men to serve the military because of the abuse. There has been a lot of cases of bullying during their military training and it has cause a lot of trauma. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I\'m so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

It\'s really personal opinion.
>> This is my personal opinion. 

I think it\'s best not to go if there\'s a way not to go to the army.
>> I think it is best for men to not go to the military. 

In Korea the men should go to army.
>> In South Korea, men mandatorily needs to serve the army. 

But if some men have way not go to he army, they should do it.
>> But if men had the choice whether to go or not, they will not go there. 

2 years it\'s so long time and time is so precious.
>> 2 years is a long time an time is so precious. 

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