At this stage of your life, are you beginning to make plans for your retirement?

2023-01-19 · 첨삭 강사 Camille

학생이 쓴 원문

Most companies commonly push employees to quit their job when they turn to thier 40s because they want to reduce expenses for old staffs and they would like to hire juniors. It is also common that seniors don\'t involve at work and don\'t put their efforts a lot but juniors are usually active, creative and positive on any situation. We have weird bussiness culture that seniors must be respected by juniors because they are old and have more career than juniors. However, people can live longer than previous era due to the development of medical technology. If people retire at 40s, they don\'t have anything to make money. It is serious problem for them and our country too. Although, companies suggest the high amount of retirement pay, people hesitate to decide to retire early because they need stable income to keep their lives. In my case, I am working in the public hospital. It is guaranted to work until official retirement age. Although, the salary is lower than general companies, we are

강사 첨삭

Good day, Sir [이름]!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

Most companies commonly push employees to quit their job when they turn to thier 40s because they want to reduce expenses for old staffs and they would like to hire juniors. 
>> Most companies commonly push employees to quit their jobs when they turn to their 40s because they want to reduce expenses for old staffs and they would like to hire juniors. 
It is also common that seniors don\'t involve at work and don\'t put their efforts a lot but juniors are usually active, creative and positive on any situation. 
>> It is also common that seniors don\'t involve themselves at work and don\'t put their efforts a lot but juniors are usually active, creative, and positive in any situation. 
We have weird bussiness culture that seniors must be respected by juniors because they are old and have more career than juniors. 
>> We have a weird business culture that seniors must be respected by juniors because they are old and have more careers than juniors. 
However, people can live longer than previous era due to the development of medical technology. 
>> CORRECT! 
If people retire at 40s, they don\'t have anything to make money. 
>> CORRECT! 
It is serious problem for them and our country too. 
>> It is a serious problem for them and our country, too. 
Although, companies suggest the high amount of retirement pay, people hesitate to decide to retire early because they need stable income to keep their lives. 
>> CORRECT! 
In my case, I am working in the public hospital. 
>> CORRECT! 
It is guaranted to work until official retirement age. 
>> It is guaranteed to work until official retirement age. 
Although, the salary is lower than general companies, we are
>>  Although, the salary is lower than general companies, we are well-compensated.

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