Banning Serving Fast Food To Students
학생이 쓴 원문
I think schools should ban serving fast food to students. To begin with, fast food is not healthy to students even if it is delicious. Especially, students are in period of growth. That are particularly carefully times, so it is necessary to care the food for students. Because it can be influence to their heights and weights or skins. Furthermore, they can addict the fast food. More eating it, more wanting it. Actually, there are the research about addiction with fast food. It can be make students grow apart from slowly food like vegetables. Finally, people eat it whenever after all. Then, it is okay that we don\'t become familiar with it when we are students. There are a little good effects of fast food.
강사 첨삭
Hi Kate!
Those are some good points you just made there.
The statements you chose were simple and clear.
This is the kind of work I expect from you.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I think schools should ban serving fast food to students.
>> Correct
To begin with, fast food is not healthy to students even if it is delicious.
>> To begin with, fast food is not good for the health of students even if it is delicious.
Especially, students are in period of growth.
>> Especially, students are in a period of growth.
That are particularly carefully times, so it is necessary to care the food for students.
>> They need to be careful this particular time so it is necessary to care about the food of students.
Because it can be influence to their heights and weights or skins.
>> Food can affect their height, weight or skin.
Furthermore, they can addict the fast food.
>> Furthermore, they can be addicted to fast food.
More eating it, more wanting it.
>> The more they eat, the more they want it.
Actually, there are the research about addiction with fast food.
>> Actually, there is a lot of research about addiction to fast food.
It can be make students grow apart from slowly food like vegetables.
>> It can take away students from healthy food like vegetables.
Finally, people eat it whenever after all.
>> Finally, people can eat junk food anytime.
Then, it is okay that we don\'t become familiar with it when we are students.
>> Then, it is okay that we don\'t become familiar with it while we are still students.
There are a little good effects of fast food
>> There are very few benefits of eating fast food.
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