Be someone

2019-09-24 · 첨삭 강사 Sharon

학생이 쓴 원문

If I could be someone, I want to be a rich man. So I don\'t worry about how I spend for shopping or for what I needed. Sometimes I have to do my work to earn enough money to live. It might be a motivation for hard work but sometimes It make me feel burden. It wont\' be able to be someone, so I want to be a rich by myself.

강사 첨삭

Hi John!
Please take note of the suggested patterns.
Try to incorporate them in your future compositions.
Good job!^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
If I could be someone, I want to be a rich man. 
>> If I could be someone else, I would want to be a rich man. 
So I don\'t worry about how I spend for shopping or for what I needed. 
>> This is so that I don\'t have to worry about shopping for what I need.  
Sometimes I have to do my work to earn enough money to live. 
>> Sometimes, I have to do my work to earn enough money to live. 
It might be a motivation for hard work but sometimes It make me feel burden. 
>> It might be motivation for me to work hard but sometimes, it makes me feel burdened. 
It wont\' be able to be someone, so I want to be a rich by myself.
>> I would never be someone else so I need to become rich myself. 

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