Beauty

2020-11-09 · 첨삭 강사 Elica

학생이 쓴 원문

When I was young, I thought beauty is looking good. But as I got older, beauty is a little bit more profound to me. It is not just appearance. For example, ballerinas\' ungly feet are not ugly. there are beauty in them. Also our old parents\' hands have many wrinkles and scars but they are marks of their lives, efforts, and pains. Now I can see beauty in them. Also I could see inner beauty in people. What they think, what they have done for a long time, and how they have lived until now make people beautiful or ugly. So as time goes by, I think how I have to live and what kind of life can be valueable. It is not because I am concerned about others\' view but because I am concerned about what I will think by the time I dies. Anyway there are so many kinds of beauty in the world and we shouldn\'t find beauty in appearance.

강사 첨삭

Hi, [이름]!
Thank you for the response. It\'s always good to look beyond physical beauty. That definitely last a lifetime.
~Elica~
When I was young, I thought beauty is looking good. But as I got older, beauty is a little bit more profound to me.
>>When I was younger, I thought beauty is looking good.
But as I got older, beauty is a little bit more profound to me.
>>But as I got older, beauty has become a little bit more profound to me.
It is not just appearance.
>>It is not just the appearance. 
For example, ballerinas\' ungly feet are not ugly.
>>For example, a ballerina\'s ugly feet are not ugly.
there are beauty in them.
>>There\'s beauty in them.
Also our old parents\' hands have many wrinkles and scars but they are marks of their lives, efforts, and pains.
>>CORRECT
Now I can see beauty in them.
>>CORRECT
Also I could see inner beauty in people. 
>>I could also see the inner beauty in people.
What they think, what they have done for a long time, and how they have lived until now make people beautiful or ugly.
>>CORRECT
So as time goes by, I think how I have to live and what kind of life can be valueable.
>>So as time goes by, I learned to think about how I should live and what kind of life can be valuable.
It is not because I am concerned about others\' view but because I am concerned about what I will think by the time I die.
>>CORRECT
Anyway there are so many kinds of beauty in the world and we shouldn\'t find beauty in appearance.
>>Anyway, there are so many kinds of beauty in the world and we shouldn\'t find beauty in appearance.

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