BizEng-13

2014-05-13 · 첨삭 강사 Naomi

학생이 쓴 원문

Jane finally settled the debt which her father Bill had made. Jane inherited the liabilities from Bill. He lent 100 milions dollars from the Citibank for buying his the luxury house in Bevely Hillis. Although he lent so big money, he never touched the cash. All the money transferred from his loan account to the mortgage broker's account. The bank raised the interest every year. It made Jane cough up the money. Jane is threatened everyday by the representative of the bank.

강사 첨삭

How are you [이름]?

Be fine.^^

Again, you constructed fantastic sentences with great ideas. You have a great imagination out there. You are able to apply what you are learning with most possible situations that could happen and it is related to your line, business.^^

You are on the right track.

Have a good night sleep.

-T.Naomi^^

Jane finally settled the debt which her father Bill had made.

>>Jane finally settled the debt which her father Bill had.

Jane inherited the liabilities from Bill. He lent 100 milions dollars from the Citibank for buying his the luxury house in Bevely Hillis.

>>Jane inherited the liabilities from Bill. He lent 100 milion dollars from the Citibank for buying his the luxury house in Beverly Hills. (spelling^^)

Although he lent so big money, he never touched the cash. All the money transferred from his loan account to the mortgage broker\'s account.

>>Although he lent a very big amount of money, he never touched the cash. All the money transferred from his loan account to the mortgage broker\'s account.

The bank raised the interest every year. It made Jane cough up the money.

>>correct

>>OR:The bank raised the interest every year. It made Jane cough up money.

Jane is threatened everyday by the representative of the bank.

>>correct
>>OR: The representative of the bank threatened Jane almost everyday.

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