BizEng-14

2014-05-14 · 첨삭 강사 Naomi

학생이 쓴 원문

This is the last time. Please concentrate, I won't say again about the plan. There are big change of the plan because the original one was for deceiving other competitors. The main strategic of this ad campaign is promotion through the mobile game for appleal to youngster. Focus only finding mobile game which related this campaign, drop everything else. I hope you all could have clear thinking about the new plan.

강사 첨삭

Hi [이름]!

Thank you for sending me your sentences. Please take note of your using linking verbs and your spelling.That\'s all! ^^

Very good! ^^ You know ways on how to improve yourself and you are a fast learner.^^

See you.

-T.Naomi^^

This is the last time. Please concentrate, I won\'t say again about the plan.

>>correct

>>OR: For the last time. Please concentrate, I won\'t say something again about the plan.

There are big change of the plan because the original one was for deceiving other competitors.

>>There are big changes on the plan because the original one was for deceiving other competitors.

The main strategic of this ad campaign is promotion through the mobile game for appleal to youngster.
>>The main strategy of this ad campaign is   promotion through the mobile game for appeal to youngsters.

>>OR:The main strategy of this ad campaign is through promoting mobile games to attract youngsters.

Focus only finding mobile game which related this campaign, drop everything else.
>>Focus only on finding mobile game which is related to this campaign, drop everything else.

I hope you all could have clear thinking about the new plan.

>>correct

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