Bond
학생이 쓴 원문
[ESSAY] How do you bond with your parents? What are the activities that you do together for bonding?
Usually I date with my mother and father.
And I cook with my parents and I play with my parents and I travel with my parents too.
But I like dating with my parents the most.
Because when I date with my parents, I can talk with them and we can understand each other.
I had went to Jeju Island with my father when I was First grade(8 years old on Korean age) and I had stayed there for 1 weeks with my dad.
And on yesterday(Sunday), I dated with my mother and my mom bought me Christmas presents and I love the presents.
I like dating and travelling with my parents~! ^-^ : )
강사 첨삭
Hi there, Clair!
Here\'s your edited composition! See you on Wednesday!
Cheers,
Jean~~
[ESSAY] How do you bond with your parents? What are the activities that you do together for bonding?
Usually I date with my mother and father.
>> I usually go on dates with my mother and father.
And I cook with my parents and I play with my parents and I travel with my parents too.
>> Also, I cook, play, and travel together with them, too.
But I like dating with my parents the most. Because when I date with my parents, I can talk with them and we can understand each other.
>> But I like dating my parents the most because I can talk with them and we can understand each other.
I had went to Jeju Island with my father when I was First grade(8 years old on Korean age) and I had stayed there for 1 weeks with my dad.
>> I went to Jeju Island with my father when I was in first grade (8 years old in Korean age) and we stayed there for 1 week.
>> or: When I was in first grade, I went on a trip to Jeju with my dad and we stayed there for 1 week.
And on yesterday(Sunday), I dated with my mother and my mom bought me Christmas presents and I love the presents.
>> And yesterday (Sunday), I dated my mother and she bought me Christmas presents and I love them.
>> And I had a date with my mom yesterday wherein she bought Christmas presents for me, and I love them.
I like dating and travelling with my parents~! ^-^ : )
>> correct
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.